


Fault Lines

by Charred_Ground, sumire (sometimesafangirl)



Series: Here and After [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guns of Gamara AU, Bottom Keith (Voltron), Childhood Friends, Earth is gone, Fluff and Angst, Galra Keith (Voltron), M/M, No matter how bad it gets we believe in happy endings, Ratings Will Change Based on Age of Characters, Refugees, Top Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24844891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charred_Ground/pseuds/Charred_Ground, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sometimesafangirl/pseuds/sumire
Summary: Centuries ago, Earth was destroyed by the Alteans. Survivors were rounded up under the guise of magnanimity and settled in a Space Refugee Colony (SRC). The Altean Colonization Front(ACF) promises a good and peaceful life to all species who follow their guidelines.  This is the story of a group of brave men and women who defied the life handed to them and sought to make their mark. This is Part 1 of the Here and After Series: The Childhood ArcRatings will change with each new arc
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: Here and After [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797250
Comments: 36
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a new style for us. Please bear with it as we figure it out! Let us know what you think! 
> 
> We were trying to capture the thought process of children at this age and in the first person, which isn’t something we’ve done before. 
> 
> <3
> 
> Find Art For this Story Here:  
> [Adventures Await](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9c75ed81a71c8fadea8cb17d967ead08/f5518edae85fe3c0-f4/s540x810/c6cd001bc9cfcd6260e345aa0af5daab5667a5c5.png)  
> Art by:[Foxy Joy](https://foxyjoy-art.tumblr.com/)

The Present 

**Keith**

Always him. 

Lance McClain.

His smile.

His laugh. 

In the depths of one of those ‘life flashing moments’ (I’ve had several), I’m fully aware I should be more aware. 

I’m not. I’ve done what I can against the Alteans. They won. For now. The fight is theirs. 

I was laid out on the table a few dobashes ago, and there's a scary dude in the corner with a laser blade. A sound whirring behind me ticks my heartbeat up, but the drugs keep it down. I know I should be scared. Most people would be in a situation like this. I’m just not. 

Instead, I’m thinking more about a boy. A boy who is somewhere safe. Somewhere far from here. Somewhere he’ll never have to see what’s about to happen to me. 

He’d tell me to keep fighting. He’d tell me I was stronger than them, but I can’t fight anymore. My arms won’t move. My eyes are stuck closed. All I can do is preserve what I can. I built myself a tiny resistance. A mental wall to protect what he loved most. 

If not for the drugs pumping into my system, I know I’d be absolutely terrified for what’s about to happen. Will I know what I’m doing? Will I still be here or am I going to be a flesh and blood shell of a once living creature? Will I even be alive?

‘Non-cogs’ were my personal ongoing nightmare. This was a nightmare. Only I won’t wake to a soothing voice or a perfectly pitched hum of a family lullaby I taught a boy once while surrounded by cave-birthed bioluminescence. 

I am out of saves. This is it. I cloister my heart away. 

But god, I’d do it all over again for one smirk. One whispered nickname. A stupid toothless grin.

I think I actually laughed. My lips feel tight and something shifts beside me. 

I’ll always be fond of that grin. I can see it now. A fat stubby fingered hand reaching out to me. I had never seen a boy my age. Not up close. 

——————

The Colony

I knew his family, the McClains. They were loud but friendly. We lived in the same stone and metal shanty neighborhood just a few spaces apart in the colony. From our understanding, this was the last refuge for what remained of Earth.

Five thousand people lived on the satellite. We weren’t suffering. There was air, water, vegetation, and sunlight. Well a ‘kind of sort of’ sunlight. Everything was manufactured and reused. We tried not to think about it too hard. We let the adults worry about that. Kids had a very important job. We were supposed to be kids. We’d play. We had school, and we were indoctrinated into the idea of persevering the human race. 

A concept lost on me, but I wasn’t exactly human. No one knew what I was(not completely), and those who had, or did, were long gone. I was purple. I had pointy ears and an annoyingly defiant tail. Humans didn’t have those things. They were all warm shades of sand and soil. Pale whites and deep warm blacks and everything in between. Flesh toned. I had flesh too! But mine was the color of the ‘kind of sort of’ sunset.

I was hidden for as long as I could remember (which was only five earth years). I knew a handful of adults. Pops called them doctors. They came over and checked on me. A week before my first outing, my favorite, Dr. Holt, gave me a watch. Pops showed me how to use it, and I caught on pretty fast for the sake of survival. So when this brown skinned boy reached out to me, with hands sticky and blue eyes wide with open friendship. I turned away from him, hiding behind my father’s leg. My tail strapped down inside my clothing bristling.

The boy wasn’t deterred. He forced his hand out harder. 

“Go on Keith. It’s all right. Take his hand.” Pops’ own hand cupped the back of my head, covering it with a firm palm while his fingers carded through the back of my hair. I buried my face further into his leg.

“I’m Lance!” The boy, Lance, thrust his hand toward me again with a confused look up at my father and then back down to me. Something like an idea lit up behind his eyes and forced his eyebrows to toss up. “I have a truck. You can play with it if you want.” 

My father moved, crouching so I wasn’t pressing into his leg anymore, but I just pushed my face into his chest. It was easier to hide there. It was safer there. I couldn’t see the boy staring at me. I couldn’t see anything because I could just squeeze my eyes shut and hide. If I kept hiding, maybe we could go home. I squeezed my fists into my father’s shirt, and my body hunched a little. 

“Hi Lance. I’m Keith’s Dad, he’s a little shy. May I see your truck?” I felt the rumble in his chest when he spoke, and I heard the boy moving. My father’s arm moved away from me but then pulled in again. “That is an awesome truck. See?” He gently tapped my shoulder. “He just wants to show you a toy, like the ones you have at home.”

I didn’t want a toy like the ones at home. I wanted the toys at home! I wanted to curl further into my father’s chest, but the way he crouched and held the truck against my shoulder made me move back a little. I could see the blue and white out of the corner of my eye, so I turned to look at it. A little toy. I pulled away enough to touch it. The metal was cool to the touch. I liked the white and blue paint and the stripes down the sides, but it wasn’t mine. “I want to go home.” 

“I know you do, kiddo. I know.” Pops looked sad, or maybe not sad but sorry. He was looking at the other boy while still holding the toy to me. I poked it again when he smiled. The boy smiled too. “You know, Lance,” My disguised ears twitched with the name. “I know your mama. She’d be very happy with how polite you are.”

The boy’s smile looked like it took up half his face with not enough teeth to match. His voice came out a little louder and more excited than before. “Mama is so nice!” Then he was looking at me, still smiling like that. “You can have it for a while! My truck! It’s okay!”

It was a nice toy. I couldn’t look at Lance for too long, so I looked back at the toy. My father placed it in my hand and straightened up, so I poked at it a little more. The wheels spun. I didn’t have toys with spinning wheels. I hugged it to my chest, but this one was not soft. I had softer toys at home, and this one pricked my arms, but I liked it. “I…” I looked at the boy and hugged the toy closer. “I have this.” I held Lance’s truck in one hand and reached into my pocket. All my toys were soft like this one. It looked like some of the animals in the picture book my dad showed me, but none of them were purple like this was. I held it up and showed it to Lance. But one of the ears flopped, and it looked older than Lance’s truck. I pouted. Maybe he wouldn’t want to see my old toy when he showed me his shiny new one.

“That’s cute!” He said, and my head lifted. “I have something like that at my house!” He didn’t seem upset that his toy was new and mine wasn’t. Or that his was shiny and blue and white and mine was purple and a little worn. He just kept looking at me and smiling. Like a contagion, the smile spread to my face, however small. 

“You do?” My voice shook as if I didn’t know how to use it properly. I didn’t talk to others much. Just Pops and Dr. Holt. I didn’t know how to address people outside of the bubble I’d been thrown in. I was always hiding. The Alteans in white suits would come, and I’d be hiding. People from the colony in their stiff suits would come, and I’d be hiding. Pops finally had enough and decided the best place for me to hide was out in the open. 

“Ya never see the most important things if they are right under your nose. Right kiddo?” He’d say, and I’d nod like he just gave me the secrets of all known life. This moment, of me reaching out, was important to him. So important even a young child could pick up on it. I didn’t want to disappoint him. Never him.

“Pops...” I tried again, addressing the bright-eyed boy. “Pops said it’s from Mama.” I bit my lip. A nervous habit I have to this day. I tried to hand the truck back, not sure what Lance’s timing of ‘a while’ meant.

“You can keep it longer.” He replied with a push back on the toy. “And if you want, you can come to my house and see my sharkie! Mama, will make us sandwiches.” 

I had no idea what a sharkie was, but I was curious. I nearly got ahead of myself and responded before Pops intervened.

“Maybe not today, but thank you. I still need to show Keith around a bit more. Let him feel comfortable.” Pops’ dark eyes scanned the school building. I didn’t know what he was expecting to find. The place was old with half the 100 yard structure missing in scales of rubble and ivy overgrowth. A remnant from a raid over half a century ago. I’d find out later that was how the Alteans kept the surviving humans in line. A rule by fear. Effective. Hope was a finite concept when the bravest of men were raised as cowards. 

“Is your Mama here?” Pops asked.

I turned back to Lance and hugged the toy, offering him the smallest of smiles.

“No.” He replied. “She’s at home.” The smile on his face grew.

“Your Mama?” I blinked, realizing this boy had someone in his life who seemed like a ghost story in mine. Someone living and warm. I wanted to see it for myself, ever the skeptic in ghost stories. 

“Well, tell your mama hi from me. I owe her a lot, and she’s been taking very good care of us.” Pops added to the mystery. 

“Yeah!” He nodded. “She’s a good Mama! She helps everyone!”

A good Mama. This boy didn’t know how lucky he was, did he? I only have Pops. I looked at the ground and curled more into him, my head finding a spot on his shoulder to rest, so I could hide a little more. I didn’t move even when I felt him kiss the top of my head. 

“Thank you, Lance. I’d like it if you can keep being nice to my boy.” His voice was kind, as usual, “I’ll take you both out to The Rail sometime.”

What? My head snapped up, and I looked up from the ground, staring at Pops. The Rail, as I knew it at the time, was on the outer edge of the colony. A maintenance scaffold for space walks. Some of the older kids got to go there for field trips. Dr. Holt told me her son was excited to go. Right now, the news meant one thing. 

“You got the job?” My stomach twisted. I knew the sense of dread, but it didn’t feel as bad as all the times I had to hide, or when Pops left me for a little while.

“I did.” He smiled. “We can stay here, since I can pull my weight now.”

“Me too?” The knot twisted more, but when Pops smiled again, it uncoiled. 

“You’ll be going to school here while I go to work.” He nodded towards the building. 

“Here?” I looked at the school again. No longer just a building, but a place I would have to know. I put my hand on my wrist, rubbing my watch. Pops took my hand instead, preventing me from accidently hitting any buttons. I squeezed his to keep my fingers from shaking. 

Lance’s voice broke through, and I jumped a little. I forgot he was here. “School is fun!” I tore my eyes from the building and focused on his beaming face instead. He was hopping a little on his toes. “We play and stuff! You can meet Hunk and Katie! They’re my friends! They’re nice!” 

How could this kid be so excited to go to school? I didn’t understand. It wasn’t home. There were a lot of people here. How could it be safe? What if someone--I could feel my mouth trembling, and my eyes started to sting. I looked from the boy to Pops. “No! I want to stay with you!” 

“You’ll be all right, Keith.” 

“No! I hate it!” Heat filled my cheeks, and the stinging got worse.

“You’ll have friends here, Keith.” Pops’ voice was calm as ever, but his eyebrows were doing the crinkling thing they did whenever he was extra worried about me.

“No!” Without thinking, I swung my hand down, and Lance’s toy truck slammed to the ground. There was a crack, and my eyes widened. I broke his toy! One of the little wheels laid a few feet away on the ground. There was a crack in the plastic and a scrape in the metal where the wheel had been. 

“Keith!” My dad bellowed, snapping me out of focus. I looked at Lance first. The smile on his face faded, and his mouth started to shake the way mine was, but when he looked at me, he bit his lip. Without saying anything, he walked to the toy, picking it up and turning it a bit in his hands before he crouched to pick up the wheel. His shoulders sank, but when he turned around to look at me, he was smiling again. “It’s...okay.” His voice trembled, and he was quieter than before. “I was scared the first day too...It’s okay…”

“No, Lance.” Pop’s voice was stern, edged with frustration (I had not dared to look at him yet). I wasn’t the easiest child to raise. I had bouts of anger and threw tantrums for reasons I never understood when I snapped out of them. He gritted through it each and every time. But this was different. Now I hurt an outsider. 

“It’s not okay.” He said setting me on the ground and turning me toward Lance. His large hands braced on my shoulders, locking me in position, forcing me to confront my behavior. “Apologize Keith.” 

I tried to turn away and only got so far as to hide my shamed expression into Pops’ arm.

“It’s okay.” Lance repeated, but from the corner of my eye I saw his smile fade, and the coil in my gut twisted again. My father sighed, popping me gently on the back of the head as he let go of me and knelt down to Lance’s level, an arm crossing his raised knee. Even crouched, he towered over us. My dad was forever larger than life. 

“Can I see the truck?” He opened his palm toward Lance. “I might be able to fix it.” 

I stepped forward but a glance from Pops put me back in my place, and I sunk to the floor, ankles crossed and clasped in my hands as I tried (and failed) to hold in sniffs. 

After forfeiting his truck to my father, Lance sat next to me and settled at my side, head cranked as if he were trying to see my tears. It made my cheeks feel hotter. “It’s okay.” He assured me. A chubby hand patted my knee.

“Pops says it’s not.” I wanted to run from the contact, but I didn’t want to disappoint my dad any more than I already had. I flinched all the same, and the boy dropped his hand.  
  
“I mean… it’s okay cause it was an accident.” 

I shook my head. “I broke something. It wasn’t mine and I broke it. I-”

A little truck bumped against my knee. I blinked. Lance’s truck! Banged up, but all four wheels firmly attached. It gilded across the floor with only a faint wobble. We both turned to Pops. He smiled a big tooth-filled smile. “The outside is still a bit scuffed and you gotta be gentle with it until the bonding gel dries, but then it’ll be stronger than before.” 

“Thank you Keith’s Pops!” Lance proclaimed, and I bowed my head.

“You’re welcome. Now, Keith.” He stood up and brushed his knees off. “What do you say?”

“I.. umm? Thank...you?” I ventured a guess, and my confusion must have won the old man over because he chuckled. I always liked his chuckles or his laugh. They calmed me. If my dad could laugh, then that meant two things. One, I wasn’t in trouble anymore. Two, we were safe. 

Whatever I said or did must have been the right answer. In a second he swooped down and cuddled me to his face until I was squeaking with gasping laughs. 

“We’re going home.” Pops said after a minute, but he kept holding me to his face, setting me up on a broad shoulder. With no other options, I latched onto his head for support.

Lance sat on the ground, holding his truck carefully. My stomach started to twist again, but he looked up at us when Pops spoke. “Do you want a ride, Lance? I believe our place isn’t far from yours.” 

I tried to get a better look, my face smushed more into my dad’s cheek. 

Lance bit his lip, and he looked really unsure, but he nodded. “Okay, thank you.” 

He didn’t seem mad! I let out a breath and smiled at him, or at least I think I did, but I wanted to make him feel better. Like he’d done for me. I wanted to see him smile again. “There’s room on the bike.”

Lance stood and dusted himself off carefully with one hand. He was still cradling the truck with the other. He followed along as Pops walked us to his bike. I was used to seeing it. It was something he was very proud of, even if it didn’t look as good as the newer bikes. There were parts made out of different metals and cut into odd shapes, but he painted it black and red, and it looked cool! Like fire or something! And when we stopped in front of it, Lance was staring at it with huge eyes. “Woah…” He whispered as Pops plopped me into the seat and then plopped Lance down next to me.

“Pops built this.” I sat up a little straighter. He was so cool!

“This is cool!” Lance hopped a little in the seat next to me. The smile was back, and he wasn’t holding the truck protectively anymore. 

“I know!” Pops revved the engine and started driving. He was showing off, going faster than normal, and when he popped a wheelie, I squealed. Before I knew it, my arms flung around Lance, and I laughed. Then his arms came around me, and he laughed, too. We kept squealing our delight and hugging with every jump Pops hit (I’m sure he aimed for them). If Lance had a big smile before, it was even bigger now! With the wind moving his short hair, and giggling with his eyes closed, he looked happier than he ever had. The knot in my stomach untwisted and untied itself, and I laughed with him. 

Before I even knew how long Lance and I were like this, we were at his house, and the bike stopped. Pops turned and pulled a leaf off of one of Lance’s cheeks before he smoothed my hair for me. “Fun?”

Lance bounced in the seat, which made me bounce a little too. “Yeah!” He shouted, then blushed and repeated “Yeah!” with a quieter voice. 

“We’ll have to do it again sometime. If your mom doesn’t kill me for this.” 

“Yeah! Thanks Keith’s Pops!” Lance giggled.

“No problem, kiddo.” He hoisted Lance out of the seat with one arm and rolled me into his other, carrying the two of us like supply sacks under each arm. I didn’t dare remind him of the intent to show me around the school more. This was fun, and I felt more comfortable getting tossed around by Pops’s bike then I did behind crumbling and fortified walls.  
  
“Come on then, as long as I’m here I need to talk to your mom.” 

Lance laughed, pointing at a stout silhouette of a woman standing in an arched sheet metal doorway. Golden light shadowed her, and I felt her presence even from the clutch of my father’s arm. This was Lance’s mom. I recognized her instantly. My shack up the hill gave me the perfect vantage point to scope out the neighborhood. I knew her voice. Always scolding and yelling but so filled with warmth as she watched over her children. 

“Maria!” Pops said with a warm familiarity and left me questioning her position in my bubble. Was she one of the nurses? One of Dr. Holt’s assistants? I could not place her at any of my tests. 

Pops set the two of us down on the cracked rock path to the front door. I stood behind Lance, clutching his shirt. Suspicious of the woman my father knew. She arched a thin brow and wiped flour into her apron. Maria looked at the bike and then looked at my dad a few times. Each cycle causing her eyebrow to rise further. 

“Hey Tex.” Maria didn’t sound thrilled. 

“I brought Lance back.” 

“I see that.”

“I hope that’s fine.” He picked up Lance by the under arms and presented him to Maria as if to say ‘look, he’s still got all his limbs! Stop judging me’.

Maria blinked, and her frown warmed into a smile fueled by the brightest stars. She leaned in and kissed Lance’s cheeks, not bothering to rescue him from Pops’s grip, then her eyes met mine, my own hands frozen in mid-air as though still holding the back of Lance’s shirt. 

“Oh.” She took Lance and set him down on the ground. “Hello little one.” She welcomed me while stroking her son’s hair. “Did my Lance treat you well?” I blushed at the question and scurried back to my father’s leg. 

“I want to be friends!” Lance smiled his toothless smile, tugging on his mom’s apron. 

“Then we should invite your friend and his father in for dinner.” Maria replied. Her smile never lost a degree of luminance as her eyes dared my dad to refuse.

“I suppose we can. I need to talk to you anyway about Dr. Holt.”

I knew there was a connection! But as I stared between the three, I allowed my eyes to settle on Lance. I needed him to tell me what to do. Do I just stand here like an idiot? Do I step inside? Do I say something? And in a moment that would define the rest of our friendship, he guided me through the trials of my first social engagement. 

“Come on!” He took my hand in his. “You can see my room!”

I squeezed Lance’s hand. It was warmer than I thought it would be, but then again, Lance seemed like the sun. 

Pops and Maria exchange some sort of worried adult look, like this could have been a bad thing, but he soon turned that glance to me. “You two can play, but remember...the watch is very important, Keith. Be careful with it.” I knew that, but Pops saying it made my stomach curl in again, and my eyes widened. What if playing was bad? I wanted to play, but I didn’t want to upset Pops. 

Before I took my hand from Lance’s, he pulled me gently. “We will be careful!” His cheer snapped me out of it, and I nodded. We would be careful. Lance said it with such confidence that I knew it was true. His mom’s smile at us also made me feel better about it. So I clutched his hand and let him pull me to his room. 

The room was small. Toys were piled in one corner. A chair sat flush against a little built-in desk on one wall, and a shelf bore the weight of messily piled books on another. On the outer wall by the window was his bed, which was barely made and a bit lumpy with a patchwork quilt. I looked around even as he tugged me towards the bed, pretending not to notice his bedroom faced mine out the window.

“I’ll show you my sharkie.” Lance let go of my hand and scrambled onto the bed, pulling back the covers. The lumps were from the stuffed animals, not from the bed itself. He held a gray one out to me. 

“Sharkie?” I never saw an animal like it before: a narrowed nose, sewed on felt triangles for teeth. Sharkie appeared fierce, if not for the soft brown glossy eyes looking back at me. He handed him to me, and I held it by the thing sticking from its back, shaking it, but then I remembered what happened to Lance’s truck, so I stopped and just held it. 

“He’s a shark!” Lance nodded like it was the simplest reason in the world.

“I don’t know what mine is.” I pulled my stuffed toy out of my overalls again and held it next to Lance’s Sharkie. “Pops says it’s a hippo, but I’ve never seen one…”

Lance stared at me, tilted his head, then jumped. I tried not to show startled I was, but he moved too fast and unexpectedly. He scrambled to the bookshelf. “We’ll check!” He said as he started pulling books out and dropping them on the floor until he grabbed a big one and carried it over. He climbed on the bed and looked at me, hugging the book to his chest and waiting. “Come on!”

I put the two toys on the bed first before I scrambled up next to him and pulled them back into my arms. Lance held open the book over both of our laps. He explained every animal to me, speaking quickly and excitedly, but not turning any page until he was sure I was done staring. 

“And this one is a hippo!” He pointed to a large, gray animal. It was huge, with a big nose and round body. Little ears stuck up from the top of its head, and it had flat teeth, not like the shark’s pointed ones.

“Oh!” I held my toy next to the picture. It wasn’t exactly the same. Not like when I compared Sharkie to the sharks. My toy was slender and looked more like a hippo and human mixed together but if Pops said it was a hippo and Lance said it was a hippo, and I had no idea what a hippo was, who was I to argue? 

“Do you know a lot about them?” 

“I know they are big and strong!”

“Big and strong.” I repeated. “I want to be like that. Like Pops and like hippos!” 

Lance laughed and nodded his head. “Okay! You can be!” He supported my wish without question, and I rewarded him with another awkward smile.

We continued flipping through the book, Lance would talk about every animal on the page without reading the text. I didn’t mind. This was the most I’d talked to with anyone aside from my father (even though Lance did all of the talking). The comfort I found in another small voice filled me with an ease I didn’t know before. Lance understood my questioning looks. He never pushed me to answer questions I didn’t know. He just talked. And talked. And talked. Until I’d curled into him, resting my head on his shoulder to see the pages better. 

I liked his room. I liked the smell of baking yeast and sweet spices wafting down the hallway. I liked the sound of our parents’ voices mixing into a warm rumble of protection. I slept there like that against Lance’s shoulder, squeezing his arm between Sharkie and the newly anointed Hippie. I felt a hand in my hair, soothing the wild ends down behind my ears. 

“It’s okay Keith. Nap.” The body next to me shifted and we curled into the oversized pillow behind us, my hand held by another. I remember, as the weight of sleep pressed down on me, ridding me of conscious thought, thinking to myself, as I often did alone in my room. ‘Dear Mama, I made a friend today. I really like him. I think you would too. I want you to meet him.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a new style for us. Please bear with it as we figure it out! Let us know what you think! 
> 
> We were trying to capture the thought process of children at this age and in the first person, which isn’t something we’ve done before. 
> 
> <3
> 
> Find Art For this Story Here:  
> [Adventures Await](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9c75ed81a71c8fadea8cb17d967ead08/f5518edae85fe3c0-f4/s540x810/c6cd001bc9cfcd6260e345aa0af5daab5667a5c5.png)  
> Art by:[Foxy Joy](https://foxyjoy-art.tumblr.com/)

The Colony

**Keith**

  
I didn’t mind the idea of school so much as long as Lance was there with me. He and I were inseparable. We walked to school together, we sat together, and his friends were my friends. Because of him I met Hunk and Katie. The three of them had a bit of a reputation from their pre-academy days. They freed the school pets. They made a crane with a pulley system made of round blocks and shoe laces when Pidge wasn’t satisfied with the height of their block tower (which fell over and buried the teacher for a few hours). They made generators on bikes to power a light so we could stay out later. In Lance’s words, they were scary smart. 

Katie never left a room without a book in hand. She didn’t really seem to get along with the people around her, particularly kids her own age. Hunk had a passion for taking things apart and putting them back together. He’d drag all the bits and pieces around with him like some sort of safety blanket. He didn’t have the same hang ups as Katie though. He got along with everyone and was always kind. 

Lance appeared to be the odd one out. Hunk and Katie would go off on rants about issues and projects that I didn’t follow while Lance stood there, zoned out but seemingly content in his head until he flopped over (Lance’s universal sign of boredom). 

I loved those moments because I knew something was about to happen! When he flailed his arms and cried about them being eggheads, that’s when our adventures would start. The four of us were not strangers in the Hollows Market. We’d run around the stalls and play tag in the streets. Sometimes we’d help the old baker couple set up shop for the cost of a tart or three. We’d play hide and seek in Rust Woods where the trees remained yellow and red all year long. If the colonists had any issues with us they never let it be known. How do you complain about the laughter of children and not feel like an asshole for doing it?

Lance knew how to have fun. We were kids growing up on the losing (lost) side of a war, and yet we could laugh and play. We still had our imaginations: we saw dragons in bent trees and castles in piled rocks. We spread our arms out and pretended to fly, even if Lance was the only one who could jump high enough for it to be believable. We all knew the future held a military banner over our heads, but we were kids and we were (for now) allowed to be that way.

Lance had become my barometer for humanity. I looked to him to see when I should laugh, smile, get riled up, or calm myself down. He was always so animated, it was easier to follow along. There was a time when James walked up to me and asked to trade a snack. He had some kind of raisin thing, and I had the shortbread Lance’s mom made for me. I hated raisins, but James was a praised kid in class. The teachers all adored him. He had a mom and a dad. He did well in the oral spelling exams. He beat me a few times, but Lance said anyone would get confused on a Common English spelling exam because the rules don’t make sense. Lance said there’s no reason ‘s’ and ‘ce’ should sound the same. I didn’t have the heart to reveal that I knew how to spell the word ‘resource’. I had lost my front tooth that day and my fangs were getting in the way so my ‘C’s weren’t coming out right anyway.

But I thought it was important for this kid to like me. If he liked me, the teachers would like me, then Pops would be happy. 

“So, what’s it gonna be? Only little kids eat cookies like that.”

“Then why do you want it?”

“I’m doing you a favor. So you can be like the big kids.”

“That… doesn’t make sense.” I arched my eyebrow at him, and James looked away. He never met my eyes. He’d call me a freak and say my eyes were weird.

“Sure it does, you don’t wanna be a freak. Right?”

“I’m not a freak.” I lowered my head, fists clenched on the table. 

“Go away James!” Lance sat down beside him, holding his hand over mine with the short bread. “He’s not gonna trade. Just go away and leave him alone.”

“He can speak for himself, Lance. Stop treating him like your little freak pet!”

“You’re just mad because your raisins suck and my mom’s cookies are yummy.” Lance jumped up from his chair and stood between me and James. He clenched his fists before he pushed the other kid’s shoulder. “Back off, James.”

James stumbled back, but then returned the shove. “You’re a freak too!”

Lance barely stumbled. I scooted back a little. The air didn’t feel right. Something definitely didn’t feel right, and when Lance looked back up at James, I knew. His bright blue eyes became hard and cold. His lip curling up in a sneer. I’ve seen Lance mad before. But this was madder than mad. Madder than when Pops yelled at me for breaking something. Madder than when Lance’s mom scolded him for ripping his new shorts because they couldn’t fix it or afford a new pair. 

“Don’t. Call. Him. A. Freak.” Lance’s words came out as huffy sounds, and then before I could even protest, he tackled James to the floor. He wasn’t punching him, but he had him pinned pretty good. I didn’t know Lance was that strong.

James hit him in the shoulder and arm, trying to get Lance to let him up, but then one swing hit Lance in the jaw. There was a yell, and then James kicked Lance off him and right into me. 

The move knocked the chair and dumped us both to the ground. I tried to use my arms to catch us, but we hit the ground with a loud thud and a slight crack. 

My eyes went wide. The watch! We landed on my watch!

Lance’s face mirrored mine, almost as soon as we hit the floor, he flung his hooded sweatshirt over my head. “You idiot!” he yelled at James as he secured the hood around my chin. “You hurt Keith!”

“You shouldn’t have pushed me!” But James seemed to lose some of the power in his voice, and he stepped back as Lance helped me to my feet and pulled me past everyone to leave the lunchroom.

We were racing. I wasn't out of breath, but by the time we made it back to Lance’s house his cheeks were bright pink, and he wheezed to catch his breath.

“Hi mom! Bye mom!” The words came out like a half choked yell between his gasps. 

“What are you doing home so early?!” Maria yelled at our retreating backs. Lance never released his hold on me.

“School...umm...flooded. Classes over. Soggy mess. Papers everywhere!” He lied. Lance didn’t show his lies on his face, even if his ears always turned a little red. No one ever seemed to notice, though. 

“The school, flooded?” Maria asked. I didn’t have to turn around. I could hear the arch in her brow.

“Yup. Tragic. Love you! Keith and I are gonna go study to catch up!” 

She replied with something I couldn’t hear as Lance pushed me into his room. He closed the door behind him and pressed his weight on it, looking at me with eyes I didn’t want to see. 

“What happened to you?” He asked with a hitch in his voice. Not the same as his squeaky yell to his mother, though. 

I sat down on the bed, shoulders slumped. I stared down my hands as they worried over each other. Hideous and purple.I was done for. I’d go off to some kind of freak prison, and I’d end up pinned to a wall and gutted. 

“N-nothing happened to me. I’ve always been like this.” My watch zapped and my visage flickered before a final hiss left me rubbing at my own claws again. “James is right. I am a freak.”

“No. You’re not a freak, and that’s not what I mean.” Lance shook his head quickly, eyes still wide. “I mean did falling hurt you or something, and that’s why you changed?”

I tensed, a reaction based solely on the accumulation of time spent in my room preparing for this moment. I expected confusion. I expected judgement. I expected anger, but any of the anger Lance had hurled at James earlier was completely gone, and yet, I still couldn’t look up at him. 

“Keith…?” Lance’s voice was even softer now. “You’re a kitty…” He was looking at the hood where my ears shook the cloth.

“I’m a...what?” I stopped wringing my hands to clamp them on my head, but now he was looking at my claws. “No!!! I’m not a… no!”

“It’s a secret, right? That’s why you never looked like that before?” He took a step towards me. “Is that why you’re scared? I won’t tell!”

“I’m not a kitty!” I yelled, covering my mouth in shock at the volume of my voice. “I”m a boy! Just like you. Like everyone else!”

Lance stared at me in silence. I hated when Lance was silent. Nothing good came from when Lance was silent. 

“But you’re not like me. You’re not like everyone else.” The words, while spoken by someone else, felt caught in my own throat as I tried to swallow them. 

Small gentle hands came up to cover my own and push them aside. His thumbs scraped around my brow as he pulled the hood down. “Why would you want to be like everyone else when you’re so much cooler.” He smiled as he took in my appearance. 

He wasn’t scared. He didn’t look at me like I was a freak or an experiment. He looked at me the same way he always looked at me but different. Like I was something ‘new’. 

“I… I’m weird.” I heard the tears in my voice, then felt them hot and sticky on my cheeks.

“So?” 

“James is right.”

“He’s not. He’s the freak because he likes raisins.” Lance stated with a nod of his head.

I laughed. A soft tear and snot filled snort of a laugh. “Raisins are gross.”

“And you’re not a raisin. You’re the color of a grape!” I glared at him for that one and he shook his head, raising his hand before I voiced my offence. “Nah, I think… more like those flowers by the bridge.” 

“Oh… I like those.”

“I know you do. I like those too.”

There was a soft knock on the door. We both jumped and whipped our heads towards it before Lance’s mom spoke, “Are you two okay? I heard Keith yell.” She didn’t open the door, though. “Should I call your dad, Keith?”

“I...No..he’s at work. I don’t want to make him worry.” I bit my lower lip and looked at Lance. He had a hand up as though he was about to pat me on the head, but he stopped, wide-eyed, when I looked at him. 

“All right. I will just leave him a message that you’re staying for dinner as usual” She spoke again before the sound of her footsteps started and faded down the hall.

“Now what?” Lance dropped his hand to his lap and looked at it before looking at me again. “It’s a secret, right? How do we keep it a secret” He reached up and poked one of my cheeks. “Even if you wear my shirt all the time...you’re still purple.”

“Doctor Holt...gave me the watch.” I lifted my wrist. The cracked face made a bzzt sound. 

His brows crunched up, and he touched the wristband before nodding. “Katie’s dad?” But then he pouted. “Wait, does Katie know?” The pout disappeared when I shook my head quickly. “Then we just have to hide until he gets you a new one. We can skip school!”

“Yeah!?” I asked as if Lance had been given such authority. I liked the idea, and adventure shone in Lance’s eyes.

“We can hide in the woods!”

“Like right now?” I started leaning to the door.

“No. Tomorrow. We’ll look like we’re going to school, I’ll sneak you out and…” His voice trailed off, leaving me on the edge of my seat waiting for the rest of his plan. My tail thumped against the bed outletting my excitement. 

“Keith, you have a tail!” He shoved me down by my shoulders and toward my knees to look behind me. My purple furred tail continued to thawp against the quilt.. 

“I.. yeah... “ I thought it was obvious.

“Oh my god! You have a tail!” He nearly squeaked his excitement, and I blinked at him. “You are a kitty!”

“I am not! I’m a Galra!” I argued

“Kitty!”

“Galra!”

“Kitty!”

“GALRA!” I pounced him, and he laughed, pushing my face up with both of his hands. “You don’t even know what a Galra is!” I muffled around fingers shoved in my mouth.

“Sure I do!” He said. “A Galra is a kitty!” I licked Lance’s hands to get them off my face which made him recoil with an “Ew…”

“More ‘ew’ for me.” I said, sitting back up. “You really don’t know what a Galra is?”

“Nope… no.. sort of. The big purple guys we talk about in history? But you’re not big…”

“Pops said my mom was Galra.” Truth was, Lance knew about as much as I did, and for some reason it depressed me. Not on the surface, but I remember a cold jagged stone settled in my gut. No one knew anything about me. History books were going to define me. I was alone. “She had to run away because she was a Galra. That’s why I have to hide. Alteans hate the Galra and kill them if they find any.” I folded my hands into my lap feeling my ears droop. 

“That's...why I’m gone those weeks they come. That’s why I can’t register like you and Katie and Hunk.”

“Oh.” Lance started smoothing one of my ears. “Don’t be sad. I’ll help you hide.” He smiled at me, and I could feel my lips trying to smile back. “And I’ll protect you forever!”

A tiny little sob escaped my throat, though I tried to stop it, and I nodded. “Okay.”

“And we’ll play every day. And we’ll eat my mom’s food until we’re old enough to make our own food. And then we’ll be happy and have fun, and you’ll be safe!” Lance kept petting my head, nodding with his own words. 

He seemed so sure of it, so I believed it too. At least for now. Lance didn’t hate me. Lance didn’t think I was a freak or anything. Lance still saw me as me. Kitty me, according to him, but me. “Lance?” 

“Yeah, Keith?” The petting stopped, but now he was hugging me and watching my tail over my shoulder. “Woah, it’s so floppy.”

I laughed and flopped my tail in his direction. “Yeah. But Lance? Do...you think we can ask your mom to make extra sandwiches for lunch tomorrow?”

“Why would she...oh! Right! We need food for hiding!” Lance nodded quickly. “I’ll just say we get extra hungry at lunch now cause we’re growing!” He lifted one of his skinny little arms and tried to make a muscle and pouted when nothing happened. “Well...we’re supposed to be growing…”

I smiled, my heart racing. “Maybe we won’t have to come back!” I whispered in excited hisses. I didn’t want Maria to hear our master plan. “We can live in the woods, and I don’t ever have to wear that stupid watch again!” 

Lance looked at me, his smile faltering a little. “You’d miss your Pops.” 

“But…” No argument there.

“I’d miss mom.” My stomach fell, adding another layer of ice to the rock sinking in it. Lance wasn’t wrong. But the idea of being free, of being allowed to be ‘me’ overshadowed my other emotional wants. 

“I… yeah.” Still no argument.

Lance placed a hand on my head, rubbing between my ears. “Let’s just run away for one day. Then see how it goes. Okay?”

“All right.” Resigned and sat in the soapy aftertaste of my busted bubble.

“So should you sleep over here, or should I sleep over at your house?” Lance kept rubbing between my ears, and when I looked at his face, he looked like he was concentrating harder than he needed to.

“I…” One of his hands touched my ear. It flicked at the contact, and he pulled his hand back.

“Sorry! Did it hurt?” 

“No!” I shook my head quickly. “It’s just not used to being touched. You didn’t hurt me.”

“Whew.” Lance rested a hand on my head again. “We should sleep over at your house.” He answered his own question before I could say anything else. “Since your Pops knows about this.”

“We could. I have to tell him about the watch. So my place is better.” I didn’t want to go to my place. When Pops was gone it was small and dark. A severe contrast to how lively Lance’s home was. “He’s going to be mad.”

“Why?”

“This is the second one. In a month.” I bowed my head, readying my confession. “Remember when Iverson grabbed me out of class?”

Lance nodded. “I thought you were never coming back! Your Pops didn’t let me see you… oooh.” Lance’s mouth formed an O, and his eyes widened just as much.

“I broke it fighting the inspectors, so Iverson rushed me home.” I didn’t want to go into more detail than that.

“So he knows? The inspectors came to get you at school? They never come to get me at school… Who else knows?” Lance’s brows furrowed and he took my arm, looking down at the watch. “Is your Pops going to be mad that I know?”

“If you tell anyone else…” I bowed my head. “He’ll be too busy being mad about it being broken.”

“Say I did it. Say we were playing, and I got too fighty. I can cry if that helps.” Lance touched the watch. “Or I can say James was being a buttface, and I was protecting you. I can still cry if he seems too mad.” He patted my arm. 

I watched him stand and climb off the bed. “I think Pops is going to be mad either way...so…” Lying about it seemed worse to me, and I sucked at lying. “We should tell the truth.”

“Okay. Then it’s still my fault.” Lance looked at me before he pulled the hood back over my head and tied it again. He also pulled the sleeves down over my hands. “I’m going to tell mom that I’m going home with you. I’ll ask for food.”

I shrank a little into the sweatshirt and nodded, but my eyes started to sting.

“I’ll shout it from the door, okay? Don’t cry!” Lance’s eyes also started to water. His lip quivered just slightly; he was always quick to cry. “Don’t be sad!”

“I’m not crying!” I was. 

“You’re always a bad liar.” Lance shook his head, trying to smile as his lips shook more. 

“I’m not crying.” He walked over and wrapped his arm around me, pressing his cheek against the top of my head. 

“I know.” 

We stayed like that for the better part of the afternoon. Lance got our packed lunches from his mother, and we walked to my house. Each step echoing a funeral march in my head. 

I knocked on the door with a gulp.

“Why are you knocking?” Lance whispered into my ear.

“Be-because.”

“You live here.”

“I know that!” I didn’t know why I was knocking on my own door, but as my father opened it and bathed us in the warm light of a glowing hearth, I felt it. I felt the tears come in a deluge. I couldn’t lie anyway. He saw me, knelt down on one knee, and held his arms open to me. I caved. I ran into his arms, sobbing apologies as he pulled me and Lance into the house, my hood falling off.

Lance was never able to keep himself from crying if I was crying, and as soon as the door shut, he sat on the floor and sobbed. Pops sighed and picked him up too, holding us both and carrying us into my room. He sat down on the bed with a creak, placing each of us on a thigh. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” His voice was calm, but that just made me cry harder.

“James was picking on him, and I tried to stop it, and he pushed me into Keith and Keith fell and his watch broke and it’s all my fault.” Lance somehow sobbed and rambled out that sentence without taking a breath. “I’m sorry Keith’s Pops!”

“Now now.” Pops looked us over, tapping our backs. Two miserable kids, wailing. He shook his head. “It was an accident, right? And you were just trying to be a good friend, right?” 

Lance and I both nodded.

“Then no one’s mad.” Pops crouched and gently wiped away my tears. “Is that why you stayed hidden at Lance’s so long? Maria called me.” He ruffled my hair. “She knows, you know. You don’t have to hide from her.”

“What? Mama knows?” Lance’s eyes widened. 

“Your Mama is very important to Keith, and she wants to help protect him just as much as you do.” Pops wrapped his thick arm around Lance, pulling us both into a huge crowded hug, crushing our cheeks together.

“I’m happy you know Lance.” He said, meeting the young boy’s eyes as he would an adult.

“You are?” Lance pushed his head up.

“Yes. Because you can protect him. And you’re around him all the time.” Pops leaned back, the bed groaning under his weight. “I trust you Lance. I trust you to be good to my boy. You’re my family too.”

Lance started crying again, but he was also laughing. “I’m family. Keith’s my family. You’re my family.” His laughter was contagious, and I started to laugh a little too. And cry. We were both crying and laughing and hugging. Pops chuckled and pulled us both into a tight hug. He might have been crying a little too, but I couldn’t tell much with my cheek squished against Lance’s.

After dinner I curled up into bed, Lance and I facing each other, my tail tapping between us. 

“I have to protect you now.” Lance whispered.

“What about protecting you?” I asked.

“I have scary sisters.” He said the words with clipped resolution. 

“Yeah. You do.” I’ve seen the wrath of his sisters. Very few things are more terrifying than older sisters protecting their baby brother. 

“And they are your sisters too now. I can share them.”

“I’ll take the nice one.”

“Which one is that?” We stared at each other before breaking out in hushed laughter. 

‘Dear Mama, I found a bigger family today. I know you’d really like them! They cook, protect, and love each other very much! Pops trusts them to protect me, and I promise to protect them too!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a new style for us. Please bear with it as we figure it out! Let us know what you think! 
> 
> We were trying to capture the thought process of children at this age and in the first person, which isn’t something we’ve done before. 
> 
> <3
> 
> Find Art For this Story Here:  
> [Adventures Await](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9c75ed81a71c8fadea8cb17d967ead08/f5518edae85fe3c0-f4/s540x810/c6cd001bc9cfcd6260e345aa0af5daab5667a5c5.png)  
> Art by:[Foxy Joy](https://foxyjoy-art.tumblr.com/)

**Keith  
** _Age 12_

The years passed. We’d run away into the Rust Wood whenever Lance noticed the pressures of hiding myself became too much. We’d go weekly or daily. He’d take my hand in his, cup my cheek in his hand and say, “Focus on me.” As if I could focus on anything else. 

I knew I had a crush on him. I always had, but it’s hard for an awkward child to really be sure. Hell, I stressed when it was appropriate to excuse myself from the dinner table! Yet there was Lance, hopping up and taking my hand letting me know ‘it’s okay.’

Not to say I couldn’t get along without him. I functioned fine when separated into a few different classes in junior high, but things felt better when he sat with me. I was happier. I felt better. More confident. Bolder even. And when we fought, which we did, it was a quick punch and roll in the dirt like scraping cubs. I started the fights, most of the time. I’d seek them out. I admit Lance got the short end of the friend stick on that one. I had a short temper. I was easily irritated. And mad… a lot. Not at him. At everything. I hated my body. I hated the days I had to hide. I hated that I couldn’t be like everyone else. They made being human look so effortless and impossible for the inhuman. 

I did have friends though. I somehow managed that. The teachers liked me. I was considered smart. Not like ‘Oh My God! Call the Generals!’ Pidge and Hunk type of smart, but smart. I excelled in sports of any kind, but I often didn’t focus, always looking for the next thing. But I didn’t know what that thing was. I internalized too much and was easily distracted.

“Keith! Look alive!” A cry broke through my thoughts

“Huh!?” I turned my head up in time to catch a soccer ball in the face. The force of the crack making me taste synthetic leather and dirt in my mouth. A whistle blew across the field. The screeching pitch folding my ears in on themselves.

“Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh! I’m so sorry! Keith! You gonna live!?”

“You need to learn your strength Hunk.” Pidge’s small hand slapped the side of my head. I’d never call her the mothering type. She’d kill me if I did. 

“You guys need to pay closer attention. Keith, if you’re going to be on the field then focus on the game.” 

“Yes, Shiro.” I murmured as I sat up with the aid of the older boy’s hand. Takashi Shirogane. The academy’s pride and joy. The golden child. The perfect student. Perfect looks, perfect manners, perfect everything. A prince in everything but name. 

“You okay Keith?” He tilted my head up, and I had to look away from his face as he tried to inspect it for anything worse than a bruise. 

“Y-yeah. I’m fine.”

There was a bit of a snort off to the side, and when I turned my head even more to follow the sound, Lance was staring at us. I couldn’t quite read his expression, which made me blink at him. He reached up and pulled me away from Shiro, lower lip jutting out just a bit. “He said he’s fine.” There was a slight anger or harshness in his voice that I hadn’t heard in a while. Or ever. I couldn’t remember a time when I heard him sound like this.  
  
“Lance.” Shiro started, his hand still in the air from where he had been holding my chin just moments before. 

“No. He’s fine. You don’t need to be weird.” But Lance was now the one looking at my face and checking me over. Completely hypocritical. The worry creasing his normally smooth forehead made my cheeks pink, but I looked away from him, too.

His hands dropped when I did, and he snorted again before walking back towards Hunk and Pidge. 

“What’s his problem?” Shiro whispered, my invisible ear twitching at the touch of his breath.

“Dunno.” I shrugged.

“Takashi! Get your ass over here!” Another older cadet yelled from across the field. Glasses glinting in the sun. 

“On my way, Adam! Chill.” Shiro patted my shoulder addressing me again. “Gym’s over for the day anyway. Head home. Okay?”

“Yeah. I will.”

I sided up beside Pidge, and from the sidelines two warm meaty arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders.

“Ack!” I squirmed. I typically didn’t allow people to touch me. I didn’t hate physical contact, but I was afraid of it. My flesh-toned skin was a facade only as strong as a trick of the light. The veil was effective but very very thin.

“Dude, you okay? I’m so-“

“Hunk, it’s fine. I’ve taken worse hits.” I limboed from his arms.

Lance rolled his eyes. “Have Shiro kiss it better.”

“What’s with that tone?” I asked, indignant.

“He’s jealous! Keith’s got a new best friend!” Chided Pidge

“I do not! He just does that outreach program with my dad. So.. we know each other.” On the colony, the cadets are required to work their last year in a school-selected field. They’d take all your weaknesses and force you to work in that environment until you were able to complete the tasks at a satisfactory level. Shiro loved open spaces. He was agile. He excelled in hand to hand combat, was awarded top scores in weapons training and vehicle operations.

He didn’t have much skill in engineering. He could understand how something worked, but never why it worked. So he was with my dad on “The Rail”. Together they meticulously ran verification and compliance checks on every single artificial life support system this floating space rock had on it. He had a hard time at first. So my father invited him over for dinner to discuss the finer points of the job in a more relaxed setting. 

“Yup. Jealous.” Hunk agreed.

“Yeah, okay.” Lance grunted and rolled his eyes again before he took a step away from us. “I’m going home.”

“Aww man. Don’t be like that, Lance.” Hunk put his arm around my shoulder again and reached out to stop Lance from walking away. “We don’t have to play with the ball anymore if you’re worried about--”

“Doesn’t matter. Shiro will come running anyway.” Lance let Hunk pull him back before he pulled away again when the bigger boy’s grip loosened. “I don’t want to play anymore.”

“You’re being a baby.” Pidge grinned. “A jealous baby.”

“Shut up!”

“We don’t gotta if you don’t want to. We can go home. I have homework anyway.” I covered. I finished my work, but I knew Pidge would continue to needle Lance if I didn’t make it about me. And my tail itched. Ever since I turned twelve it just itched and itched. It started to drive me crazy. 

“Do what you want. But I’m going home.” Lance grumped. We all knew he’d be fine in fifteen minutes, but he always wore the hat for being a drama queen.

We walked home among the forever orange and reds of the leaves which loaned the Rust Woods its name. Pops said they were colored that way because these were Earth transplanted trees, and the sunlight here was manufactured, so they, like humans, had to adapt. 

“Hey Lance. Why do you hate Shiro so much?” I scratched my leg. God my tail itched.

“I don’t hate Shiro.” Lance muttered and glanced at me. “Why do you like him so much?”

What kind of question was that? I looked at him, one ear perking, though I knew he couldn’t see it. It distracted me from the itch momentarily anyway. “I like all of my friends.”

He turned his head away from me and kept walking. “Right.” I’m not sure he believed me, but he didn’t say anything else. He just shoved his hands into his pockets and kicked at some rocks on the ground. 

“Lance, Shiro’s not my new best friend.” 

“Yeah okay.” Lance kicked another rock and it pinged off one of the trees and arced into a thicket. My eyes followed the stone. The itch was back. Maybe I should talk to Pops about this. Maybe he could help me.

“Will you stop reaching back there?” Lance hissed. “You’re going to make it so obvious.” 

My hand jolted from my tail and I blinked. I didn’t even realize I was scratching at it. “I…”

“What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird for a while. Did you hurt it?”

“I’m the one acting weird?” I threw my arms out to the side and let my grumble dissipate into a resigned sigh “No.” I stuck my tongue out. “It’s been itch..ing..?”

I cut off as we rounded the bend. Through the thinning of trees I saw them. The Altean droids. The foot soldiers of the ACF. White and blue armored robots stood at the end of the path before the hill to my house. 

“Lance…” I pulled Lance’s sleeve and nodded toward the road. I shook. I’d never been this exposed before. I’d never seen one this close before. “L-lance.” I repeated. Years of warning and terrifying stories came back. Most kids had a boogeyman under their bed. Mine stood outside of my house with phaser guns resting in segmented fingers.

“They’re early.” Lance hissed, tugging me close. “Let’s turn back.” He pulled my arm without hesitating and we ran back toward the school. We heard the hum before we saw it and froze at the sight of a Hover Wagon. The Altean transport vehicle floated above the sports field. It was a bulbous sectioned out sphere with turtle shell segments. Each panel able to lift and reveal anything from the cockpit, armor, or holding cells. They were accompanied by the scent of burning plastic. Strong and corrosive to my sensitive nose. I cowed back seeing Hunk and Pidge carrying on a conversation with a soldier. This one wasn’t robotic but flesh and blood. They were unphased. They continued to talk with relaxed body language.

“They found me. They found me. They-” Lance covered my mouth with his hand.

“Shut it. They didn’t. Come on.” He dragged me off the path and deeper into the woods. Deeper and deeper we went. Off the trail, past the river, under the rotted bridge placed two years ago. Deeper than we dared to go, where the canopy was so thick, the ground was nothing but dead leaves and sticks. Panic gripped me. I heard the hum again.

“Lance! It’s still too open. I can’t…” Not far off trees bent and snapped under an impressive weight. I groaned with the fear clutching my throat. Lance’s face was stern, but I could smell the sweat on the back of his neck and the tension in the fingers around my arm.

“Lance, you should run. You’ll make it... If-” I blinked a few times, bending my neck around Lance. “What’s that?” I pointed. There was an opening in the earth as if the ground opened up a rocky maw. 

“Woah.” Lance seemed to relax when I pointed out the opening, and he started tugging me in that direction. “You can barely see it from here. Do you think it’s safe?” He glanced over where the humming sound was a constant reminder of what was looking for me, and he shook his head. “Nevermind. Anything is better than that.”

We could hide. My ears twitched, and I started to push Lance as much as he was pulling me, as if that would make him go faster. He balked a little at the opening of the cave, so I pushed him again. “Go. We need to hide.”

“All right all right.” Lance stepped into the small opening first. “It’s so dark.” 

I resisted the urge to say duh, and I pressed a bit against his back. “Please Lance.” 

He must have understood the anxiety in my voice because he stepped all the way inside, but as soon as we were clear of the opening, he stopped. I crashed into his back. “What?” 

“Look.” He pulled out his phone and turned the light on the dimmest possible setting, as though he didn’t want to risk anyone else noticing it. The cave might have been uncomfortably narrow where we were standing, but it opened up into a larger room with another cavern off to the side. 

My eyes widened. “It goes deeper.” I pointed. It would be better to be further out of view, right?

“Should we go in, then?”

Without thinking, my hand found Lance’s, and he squeezed it. “What...What do you think?” My heart pounded. I’m pretty sure I could hear Lance’s beat with the same rhythm.

“Well, We’re here now, and I’m kind of curious. Plus, deeper might be better” He stated my earlier thought and pulled me towards that second opening. “I’ll hold your hand the whole time.”

“Now you’re being nice?” I asked, not softening the bite in my words. But I did squeeze his hand. “You’re the one who's scared right now. Not me.” I started to walk in front of him. “So I’ll hold your hand.” 

“You’re so dumb. I already said I’d hold yours! You can’t just do that!” He caught himself mid yell and lowered his voice. “You just can’t.”

“Says who?” I asked, smirking over my shoulder. Anything to distract myself from the tightness in my chest.

“Says everyone!” He hissed a whisper and gripped my hand a little harder. 

“I bet Shiro doesn’t say it.” I went for the low blow, testing my suspicions. He let out a growl loud enough to fold my ears back. He gave me the confirmation I needed. Lance was jealous.

“Fine!” He threw my hand down. “If he’s so great, why don’t you go hold hands with him?”

“What?” I stepped forward, my hand reaching out to him again, and he batted it aside. The hit wasn’t hard, but I cradled my hand to my chest all the same. He wasn’t only jealous. He was mad.

He stared at my hand while I babied it, and I saw the regret pull his lips in a frown. “Look. Forget it. Let just check this place out, like you want, and get you home after those tin cans leave.” He said.

“O-okay.” 

We walked in silence, the corridor getting smaller and smaller until we had to move in a single file. “This is probably going to lead to a dead end. We should head back.” Lance suggested.

“A little more.” I said; too curious and too scared to change course now. My eyes narrowed. I had a better vision in the dark than Lance did, but I still needed light. I knew there was light coming from somewhere. I just needed to find it.

“There! I can see it. We’re this far. We can go just a little more, then we can turn back, and you can get rid of me.” 

“No one said anything about getting rid of you. Don’t be an idiot.” Lance snapped, but he kept following behind me as I crept towards the light. 

The small passage opened up again, and my eyes widened. The light was coming from different plants and mosses clinging to the rock walls. The soft teal glow wasn’t enough to fully light up the cave, but it was enough to see everything. The jagged edges of the rock walls, covered in the glowing mosses. The divots and small hills on the ground. Everything, including a pool of water off to one side, which glowed even more than the walls, so I carefully stepped towards it, the brighter green light calling to me. 

Lance remained by the room’s entrance. I could hear his breathing quicken, then calm again. He gasped a few times, but he didn’t say anything right away. His footsteps echoed in the cavern, though the sound was muted by all of the plantlife. He was walking closer to me, but I kept my back to him, crouching by the pool of water to get a closer look.

“This is…” He started, but stopped. His movements stopped. The echos stopped. We sat in silence. 

I looked over my shoulder at him. From what I could see, his eyes were wide, and his head was angled up towards the bluer light coming from the glowing moss on the ceiling. “This is…” He started again, but sounded more unsure than I heard in a while.

My ears flattened at the tension growing between us, so I jumped on him. “So quiznackin’ cool! That’s what this is!”

It worked. His shoulders relaxed, and one arm came around me, not that either of us lost our balance. “Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is cool.”

“We can live here! We can get away from all those inspections, and no one can find us! We can get wood and make a fort! We can make a little boat thing for that water! It’s bigger than it looks! Like I can’t even see the bottom over there!”

Lance nodded. “We can definitely make a fort. This can be a good spot to hide, but I don’t think we can live here.”

“Sure we cou-” My watch buzzed. The telltale sign the battery needed to be recharged. I rolled my eyes at it and hit the button on the side to turn it off. The first buzz was a fifteen dobash warning. More than enough power to get home once we left the cave. I sighed as the skin of reflection turned from white to purple. From normal to monster. I pulled my tail out and shook my head. 

“You’re a killjoy.” I plopped back on my butt, skipping a rock across the surface of the water. 

Lance stepped in close behind me. I could hear the pout in his voice. “We would need beds. How do we get our beds in here?” He sat down, kicking one leg out while leaning on the other.

“We build new ones.” I turned in time to see one brown eyebrow arch up half of Lance’s forehead. “I mean it. We can make a list of stuff. And hunt for things to bring back here.” Lance smiled as my excitement rose again. My tail tapping behind me, the itch tolerable for now. “We could have a scavenger hunt! Give points for the stuff, like hardest to easiest to find and the winner gets to umm… decide where the beds go!”

“Okay, do you know how to build a bed?”

“Wood. Nails? We’ve slept on piles of grass.” I laugh. 

“Remember the first time we ran away? It’d be like that! But we’re older and smarter!” I looked around the cave trying to catch each bit of glowing moss in my vision. They reminded me of the pictures I’d seen of stars. We didn’t have stars here. But I wanted them. People always felt so alone when they looked at the sky. I read in so many stories how the night sky made them feel lonely. I didn’t understand it. With so many stars, how could anyone feel alone? I felt more alone here. In this colony. Always hiding among so many people.

“This could be our place. A place I can look like this… and no one would care.” I skipped another rock, my ear perking as it superseded the distance of the first.

Lance looked at me and was silent for an uncomfortable amount of time before he nodded. “No one else? Just us?” He hugged his knee close to his chest. “Ours...so we’ll keep it a secret from everyone else.” It sounded more like a question than a statement, but he wasn’t asking.

I nodded and bounced a little in my place. Even though I wasn’t really holding in my excitement, I definitely couldn’t now, and my tail swished behind me. “Yeah? Yeah!”

“Yeah.” Lance’s eyes locked on mine. “Whenever we want to, we can camp in here instead of outside… I can get my mom to pack us some food when that happens. But we definitely need to set it up first.” He looked around. “We have some old blankets my mom was going to get rid of, so I’ll just bring them here instead of the trash.”

“Yeah!” I bounced right up to him and rested my hands on his bent knee. “And we can start our scavenger hunt?”

“Yeah.” He looked up at my face, and I blinked a few times. With the trick of the light it almost looked like Lance was blushing, so I did too.

“We can make a list!” I hopped up to my feet and started scoping the place out. “Like here. Here is a perfect spot for a fire pit! It’s dry… and…” I started piling rocks in a circle. “And we’d have to… hmm.. No. Not a good idea… we couldn’t have a fire here unless it was vented well. Otherwise, we could wake up dead. Or the rocks would overheat and squish us… so still waking up dead.” 

“You can’t wake up dead.” Lance rolled his eyes.

“Sure you can. Ghosts do it all the time.” I nodded oh so matter of factly. 

“Ghosts aren’t real.” He said with a tisk while laying down some rock a bit further away from me. It looked like a bed foundation. I held back my grumble. We hadn’t even started the scavenger hunt yet and he was acting as he’d already won it.

“Prove it.” I countered. 

“You prove it!” Lance 

“You argued first.” My tail flipped, in the same manner, most people would wave a hand to dismiss. “You have to prove it first.” I continued collecting loose rubble and piling it. 

“Rope swing into the pool?” I asked.

“Yes! Rope swing. With a tire?”

“If we can find one.” 

“Easy. There are a bunch by the junkyard. We took some for the swings at school last year, remember?” Lance rested his hands on the rocks he was placing. “I can get rope from my dad.” 

“Yeah?” My tail swished again. The air felt a lot lighter now. I let out a puffed breath. “We need more light.” 

“Does your dad have any extra lamps? I know we borrowed one last time we went camping.” The sound of moving rocks stopped. Lance stood and reached his hands up into the air. I tried to watch him out of the corner of my eye. “Hey. Keith?”

“Yeah?” I turned and looked at him. His arms were still up, fingers spread in surrender. 

“I’m not mad at you anymore.” He looked at me. “I’m...I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” I sighed without much prodding. We both knew what we did.

“For what? You didn’t do anything.” Lance stepped closer to me. Okay well, I knew what we did.

“Pops always says an argument is never a one-person deal. ‘One person may have started it.” I lifted a finger as I recited his words. “But two people participate.’” My tail thwapped into my hands and I started to scratch it again. “So if you’re sorry. I’m sorry too.” 

“Oh.” Lance walked up to me and took my hands. “Stop. You’ll make it worse. If it’s itchy, don’t scratch it like that.” He held them as firmly as he could, and he peered at my tail. “We have stuff at the house for itching. We use it all the time for bug bites. Let’s go back and get something.”

“Okay…” My ears drooped, and I looked down at the floor. “I don’t think it’s a bug bite though.” I tapped the tip of my tail over our hands. “There are two weird bumps there. See?”

“Like a bug bite.”

“But it’s not a bug bite. I don’t know what it is.” Lance reached his hand up and stroked the top of my head, petting between my ears. 

“We’ll figure it out. Okay?” He dropped his hand and patted my cheek.

“Yeah.” 

“We can come back tomorrow with a light and some stuff to plan it all out okay?” He kept holding my hands. “And we can bring the blankets, and look for the tire.”

“Okay!” I looked back up at him and smiled. He smiled too. My hands curled into his and held them back. 

Lance shifted and his hands twitched. They felt so warm. He looked like his face was getting warm too. “Let’s go see if the coast is clear?” He shifted again.

“Yeah. They should be gone by now, Pops is probably worried.” I picked up my bag and turned on my watch when we left the mouth of the cave. The air was quiet, which was typically a good sign. The Alteans always came down with a hum of space ships. I hated the sound.

We walked to my house chatting excitedly as boys do when I stopped. My home was lit up, and there were many people outside. I gasped. “Pops.” 

I ran ahead of Lance, hearing him yell my name behind me. The baker was there, the shop owner, they all seemed startled so see me as I came through. And there was Maria and Lance’s dad, Rafael, standing by my father, who looked sick and had bruises all over his face. 

“Pops!” I yelled and he turned, ready to catch me as I jumped into his arms. Lance’s footsteps shuffled up behind me.

“Keith!” He squeezed me. “Thank the suns.” He held me close. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He inspected me as Maria shooed everyone but Rafael and Lance from the room and closed the door. 

Pops turned off my watch and set it aside, looking me over. “I.. I’m fine.” I assured him. “We saw the drones, and Lance and I went back to school and they were there too, so we went into the woods and found a place to hide.”

“A place to hide?” He questioned.

“Yeah. But it’s a secret.”

“Oh?” Maria turned to Lance. “A secret?”

Lance bit his lip under his mom’s gaze, but he nodded. “A secret.” He looked at both his parents and tears started to form in his eyes. “Are we in trouble?” We didn’t cry now as much as we used to, but Lance was always quick to tears if he thought his mother was angry with him.

“What? No no of course not.” Maria wrapped her arms around Lance and held him close, stroking his hair. “We were just worried because no one could find the two of you.” She looked up at Rafael. “Go on and tell the others it’s fine.” She kept holding Lance, but she pulled him so they were between the door and me. Pops was still checking me over when Lance's dad slipped out and the door closed again.

“We…” Lance sniffled again. 

“Lance it’s okay.” Pops patted me on the head. “You’re both safe. That’s the best thing. And you kept Keith safe, didn’t you? You saw the patrols and helped him hide. Thank you.”

“Y-yeah. Hey...Mama?” Lance only called her that when he was sniffly like this. “Do we have that itch cream at home? Keith’s…” He made a motion to signify my tail. We came up with hand signs for that years ago...Lance’s idea. “Is really itchy…”

“It is?” Pops looked down at me. “Since when?”

“I dunno.” I whispered. “A week ago?”

“I see. Can I see it?” Pops always asked before examining my tail. I nodded, and it flopped in his hands. “Did you slam it in the door recently?”

“I haven’t done that in a long time!” I yelled, blushing. “I’ve only done that once!”

“Okay okay. There are two little bumps here. It might be growing. What do you think, Maria?”

Lance’s mom walked over, and leaned down, a rough-water, dried hand stroking her chin. “Might be growing. Like a growing pain.” She carefully touched it. “The bumps are hard, but I think it’s harmless. We should keep an eye on it.”

“Mr. Kogane!” A familiar voice belted as we heard the back door slam open. Our small group stood in slack-jawed frozen silence as we stared at the Garrison Golden boy. Takashi Shirogane. 

“Shiro…” My father’s voice came out dangerous and low and the older boy stood in the middle of our kitchen staring at us and then at me. He took a step back. 

“I… what?” He blinked. “Keith!? What… I…” 

“Shiro.” Maria moved to block the back door, trapping him between Pops and her. I didn’t know she could move so quickly. “We’re going to have a talk.” Even when she was angry with us, or one of the other kids, she never sounded that scary. My tail twitched a little.

“Y-yes… ma’am?” 

Lance’s tears were gone. Instead he moved and pounced me, wrapping his arms around me and keeping his back to Shiro as he held onto me. I’m not sure if our parents heard the growling in his throat, or if they were just ignoring it because they were focused on Shiro. 

Maria’s arms were crossed as she took a firmer stance blocking the door. “First, young man. When have you ever heard it was okay to barge into someone’s house without knocking first? You’re supposed to have better manners than that.” I never wanted to be scolded by Lance’s mom… Shiro’s head was instantly bowed in shame, and she hadn’t even talked about me yet. Definitely scary. 

“Second.” Pops began. “You’ve now seen something you were never supposed to see, and we have to take care of it.” He stood and stepped past Lance and me. “How should we take care of it hm?”

“I…” Shiro audibly gulped and looked between Pops and Maria. His eyes wide. “I didn’t…” 

“You didn’t think. Of course not.” Maria sighed. “You rushed here because you heard the boys were missing, and now you’ve stumbled into something.” She uncrossed her arms and rubbed her forehead. “We don’t have to explain to you why this is a problem, do we?”

“No Ma’am.” Shiro’s brows furrowed and he tried to look over at me, but pops stood mostly in his way. Lance folded over me even more, blocking the rest of me.

“Takashi.” Pops rested both of his hands on Shiro’s shoulders. Very few people really used Shiro’s first name. Unless something was wrong. Shiro gulped again, and Lance growled just a little louder. This time. Shiro definitely heard it because he craned his neck to look past Pops. “Don’t look at them. Look at me.”

“Yes Sir!” Shiro snapped to attention like a good soldier. 

“You’re not going to tell anyone what you saw here today, are you?”

“N-no, sir!”

“Not even your brother.”

“Sven?” Shiro’s voice cracked at that. It was hard to keep secrets in a colony. Even harder to keep them from your twin brother. But Shiro paused to think then nodded. As if he had a choice. 

“I won’t tell him. But umm… what exactly am I not telling him?” Shiro voiced his honest confusion. 

“Sit down Shiro. It’s a long story.”

“Ye-s Sir?” 

Lance and I, meanwhile, sat down on the couch in our living room. I hated my own story, and I didn’t need to hear it again. I settled back into the cushions, feeling comfort in the scent of my father as it wafted up from the couch, oil and earth. I loved the smell.

“What do you think Shiro will do?” I turned and curled myself around Lance. My tail tapping in his lap.

“I don’t know.” Lance hadn’t let go of me since the kitchen. He also hadn’t taken his eyes from Shiro, We could see them through the doorway, though the growling stopped. “But it better not be something stupid, or I’ll beat him up!”

“You can’t beat him up.” I whispered, and when Lance tensed, I shook my head. “Cause you promised your mom you wouldn’t get in more fights after the last one.”

“It’s not a fight if I beat him up.” Lance said. “But fine…” He sighed and finally pulled his eyes from the others. “How’s your tail?”

“It’s fine. Like before.” I sighed. “Do you think I scared him?”

“What? No! You’re not scary.” Lance turned to face me. “You’re the least scary thing here. Droids are scary. Pidge is scary. My sisters are scary. My mom was just really scary. You’re not any of those. You’re Keith.” He leaned down and pressed his forehead to mine and looked up, cheeks burning. “And you’re a kitten.” He teased tenderly. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. And Kittens are never scary. They’re cute.” 

“So, I’m cute?”

“Y-yeah. I guess. I mean… sure.” Lance smiled awkwardly.

“You like kittens?” I probed. 

“Yeah. I guess I do.” Lance answered, not meeting my eyes. “Oh! I forgot! I had that book I borrowed in my bag. I’ll go get it.” He scurried off the couch and to the door as I looked after him smiling. 

‘Dear Mama, I have a crush on a boy.’


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a new style for us. Please bear with it as we figure it out! Let us know what you think! 
> 
> We were trying to capture the thought process of children at this age and in the first person, which isn’t something we’ve done before. 
> 
> <3
> 
> Find Art For this Story Here:  
> [Adventures Await](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9c75ed81a71c8fadea8cb17d967ead08/f5518edae85fe3c0-f4/s540x810/c6cd001bc9cfcd6260e345aa0af5daab5667a5c5.png)  
> Art by:[Foxy Joy](https://foxyjoy-art.tumblr.com/)

The Colony

**Keith - Age 13**

“Have you filled out the registry yet, Keith?” I sighed, rubbing my temples as Commander Willhelm asked for the tenth time about the genetic registry. The ‘Breeding Pool’ (as I came to call it) was a database for genetic matching. Humans were in limited supply, so if they were going to breed, they were going to create the most robust generations they could. At 13 they make a kid fill out a form and spit in a cup. After a few tests, they provided the best genetic match for creating the best offspring. This was all done with the hopes of a genetically perfect race who were geared for survival. It killed romance and painted a target on anyone who was different. 

I hated it.

“Leave him alone Eric. He has plenty of time to fill out the form. Or not fill it out.” Shiro placed his hand on my back. “Let the kid practice.” 

“He’s the kind we need! It’s not a big deal. Just some spit.” The Commander countered Shiro.

I set my sword down against the arena wall. “I’m not really interested.” I said coming back. “Not my thing.”

“You have been around Shiro too much.” My lip sneered up at the jab. I knew what I meant. I’d been hearing those kinds of comments for a while. Shiro was gay. He had no desire to lie about who he was for the sake of ‘the greater good’. 

“What’s it to you who I spend time with?” I turned on my heel so fast my hologram flickered. A refraction of light was only a mirage after all. 

“Keith.” Shiro lifted his hand and patted the air. 

“But Shiro!? He-”

“Stand down, Soldier.” Shiro took those comments with a grain of salt then acted like I was the bad guy? 

“Whatever.” I shook my head and walked away as the two young commanders spoke in low tones. Shiro was in a long term relationship with Adam. On the colony, their relationship was not even something someone would typically care about, it was their refusal to consent to spawning. On Earth, humans had the ability to create life in tubes, and they could nurture and bring it to maturity all in a sterile environment. Oh the colony, humans had to rely on old fashioned methods.

In school they called it “The Human Reproduction Experiment: Our Future Begins with You.” Every time I saw a poster, I would rip it down and toss it aside. Or save it for kindling for the cave. I hated the concept. Aside from knowing my DNA would be rejected the second it came under the microscope, and I’d be hunted down, handed over, or worse. I wasn’t all that different from Shiro.

“They at it again?” James asked, leaning on the wall between Pidge and Hunk.

“Oh course they are. Commander Willhelm has a daughter he believes will be a perfect match for Keith.“ Hunk waved his hand. 

“They said just do it, so I did.“ James said with a puff of air lifting his bangs. “Just because you do this part doesn’t mean you have to go all the way through it.“

“Just not my thing.” I replied with a shrug of my shoulders. Done with the conversation. “Anyone see Lance today?”

“Last I saw he was getting yelled at by one of the sergeants. If he’s not still there, he probably went home pissed off.” Hunk sighed. “They’ve been picking on him a lot lately.”

“Yeah. He’s close to snapping.” Pidge shrugged. “Maybe he should. Just snap and pop one of those idiots in the nose.”

“He’d get in worse trouble if he did that. He’s a lot stronger than he looks.” James rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I would know.” 

“Yeah and if you left me alone when he told you to, he wouldn’t have popped you.” I shook my head and looked back towards the building. Lance usually spent this time running out on the track. Even if he was getting yelled at for something earlier, he’d be out here running it off by now. “I’ll go look for him.” I pushed off the wall and headed towards the building. I didn’t understand why the teachers always wanted to pick on Lance so much. Sure he wasn’t as smart as Hunk and Pidge, but he wasn’t stupid either. He never failed the tests. He always did well in the physical classes. He got along with most people. But he also...yeah it was probably because he liked to make us all laugh, and whenever he did something silly, he got yelled at. Apparently becoming a teenager on the colony meant all fun stopped.

I walked along the outer wall, running my hand over the waxy orange ivy that spiderwebbed up the stucco. I believed it was the only thing keeping the building together. 

“Lance?” I poked my head into one of the open windows, but the classroom was empty. I wrinkled my nose and hopped through, landing quietly on the ground. The sergeant hated when I came in through the window, but the door was too far away, and I wouldn’t be able to check Lance’s desk as quickly if I walked all the way around. His stuff was still there. His bag still looped carelessly over the back of his chair, his book on the desk. The bathroom maybe? I sat on his chair, rested my arms on the desk, and waited for him to come back.

I woke up to someone moving his fingers through my hair. Gentle. Kind. They knew the curve of my hidden ears and avoided them. “Nn. Lance?” I whispered groggily.

“Hey Mullet.” He whispered back, his voice soft enough I had to strain to hear it. 

“I fell asleep?”

“I hope so, or you went into a random coma.” He teased.

“Where were you?” I leaned back in his chair and took in my best friend. Puberty was never kind to people. The process was awkward and painful. My watch hid my most embarrassing moments from view. But then there was Lance. Lanky, pitchy, and charming. Wearing it all on his sleeve. I’d have been unraveled four times over by now if not for my watch. If I had to hide who I was, it was easier for me to never have to face it. 

“Nowhere important. Did you want to walk home?”

“No. Not feeling it today.” 

Lance side eyed me. “Cave?”

“Yeah. That kind of day.”

“Yeah. I had about the same.” Lance helped me up before he stuffed his things into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. 

I scrambled to my desk and grabbed my own shoulder pack before nearly tripping over my tail to catch up with him, since he was already halfway out the door. “Sorry for falling asleep on your book.”

“You didn’t drool this time, so it’s fine.” Lance glanced at me and smirked. He looked away almost as quickly though. I loved his smirk. It made his eyes sparkle with a devilish light. My cheeks burned below my simulacra of calm. I thanked the Holts once more for creating the blessed watch. 

“So...Hunk said you got in trouble?”

“Yeah. Again.” Lance kicked a rock and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t do anything...I mean normally I say something stupid, but this time he said I rolled my eyes. I definitely didn’t roll my eyes. That guy hates me for no reason.”

“You probably rolled your eyes.” I hopped a few feet ahead of him to kick the same rock back at him. “You do that a lot without realizing it.”

“I do not! And I did not! I wasn’t even looking at him when he said I did it!” Lance huffed and puffed his cheeks out like he always did when he was pouting. I wanted to tell him how cute it was. 

I wanted to tell him a lot of things as he kicked the rock back to me.

“They expect you to pop off one of these days.” Without turning I jumped backwards over a fallen Rust Tree. I had no problems showing off my agility around Lance. I downplayed my preternatural traits in school, but never around Lance. “James said you’re stronger than you look, and they better hope you don’t.” 

I picked up a stick and swung it around letting it roll down my wrist, up my arm and back. I was a bit of a show off when Lance was watching.

“I won’t…” Lance kicked another rock in front of us. I caught the stick and turned, poking him in the side. “I won’t!” He swatted at it. “I mean it!” I yanked the stick just out of his reach.

“Your mom is going to be so mad if you do!” I poked him again, and this time he grabbed the stick, pulling me a little off my balance, but he caught me before I could fall. Whenever he did something like this, I never let him know I wasn’t actually going to fall. It always felt better this way. “See? You are stronger than you look.”

“And you’re dumber than you look.” He scoffed but he kept his arms around me, and my face burned.

“My grades are better than yours.” My vasague smirked. 

“That’s not hard to do.” I blinked and cocked my head.

“Lance… something happen today?” I made a bold move and put my hand on the top of his head, forcing him to meet my eyes. I hated when he was down on himself. All jokes aside. 

“You’re smarter than me. That didn’t happen today.” Lance wouldn’t meet my eyes. Something definitely happened. 

“Lance…”

“What? You are. I’m used to it. All my friends are smarter than me.” He half-heartedly pulled his head away from my hand. “We’re never going to get there at this rate.” He started walking again.

“Pidge and Hunk are smarter than everyone.” I followed behind him, reaching for his arm. I wouldn’t let him storm away from me. “So that’s not a fair assumption. And I’m a freak. So that’s also not fair.” I came to terms with this word a long time ago.

“Stop using that word.” He growled over his shoulder at me. 

“I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.” 

“Then you’re blind.” He grumped. “Look, let’s just get to the cave already. You’re being annoying.”

“And you’re being a jerk.” I grumbled back. 

“Then go back and hang out with James or whoever!” He stopped, forcing me to run into his back. 

“What?” 

“Go hang out with Mr. Perfect Hair and Deep Voice.”

“Perfect hair and deep voice?” I mumbled, pitching my voice at the end of it. “Lance… what are you talking about? James and I are friends.” It’s true. James became one of my core friends, someone out of Lance’s circle. The first friend I made on my own. Not including Lance.

“You know what I’m talking about.” This time Lance yanked his hand away from me and stormed down into the line of trees. 

I stared at his retreating back and for the second time that afternoon I scrambled to catch up. “No. I don’t have any idea. What is your problem?”

“I hate that you call yourself that because of him.” Lance snorted and pushed his way into our cave. 

He still kept trying to pull away from me whenever I got close enough to his back to touch him. Unfortunately for him I was far more stubborn than he could be. The moment we entered the main cavity of the cave, I yanked his arm. The force of my pull made Lance twist around to face me. “Lance! Will you stop!”

“I get it, Keith! I get it. I’m not smart. I’m not cool. I’m not funny. I’m not good looking like James or Shiro.” Lance’s hard glare leveled at me. He had never looked at me like that before. Like he was both about to lose it and about to crumble at the same time. Unnerved as I was, I wouldn’t back down. 

“Shiro?” I squeaked. “What does Shiro have to do with this?” James I understood. James and Lance never got along. “You leave Shiro out of this. He’s helping me a lot. You can be pissy about James or whatever for whatever reason. But…” My ears flicked to the back of my head. “Shiro is a good guy. And he’s having a tough time. You know that.” A month prior Shiro lost his twin brother Sven. He’d been recruited by a mercenary anti-Altean group. 

“The Guns of Gamara couldn’t even bring his body back. So Shiro didn’t even get closure.” He went on a mission against an Altean Flagship. Something went wrong, and then Sven was gone. Just like that. The Altean side of the colony acknowledged his death as that of a traitor. The colony’s humanity mourned his passing as that of a favored son. 

“After everything he does for me… I want to help him too.” Was that the right thing to say? I didn’t know. Usually it was Lance who told me the proper social decorum. But this? I didn’t know how to handle this. I wanted to comfort Lance (against what, I didn’t know) but defend Shiro.

Lance sighed and shook his head, defeated. “You’re right. As always. Shiro comes first.”

“No he doesn’t. Just right now… I mean Adam says I’m helping. I’m giving him something to focus on that’s not Sven. Shiro needs me.” 

“I need--” Lance’s voice trailed off with a bowing of his head. His fists clenched at his sides, but he shoved them into his hip as though I couldn’t see it.

“What?” I stepped in. “I didn’t hear you.”

“Nothing…” Lance shook his head and walked over to the makeshift fire pit. He sat down and started working on lighting it, his back to me, shoulders hunched.

“Lance, what is going on?” I put my bag down and sat next to him, leaning forward on my legs so I could try to look up at his face, but when I did, he turned it away from me. I thought I saw him wince. 

“Nothing.” Lance’s voice was quieter than usual. Even when he was concentrating, he was never this quiet. 

“Then why are you being like this?” 

“I’m not being like anything.” Lance scooted as the fire started, and he carefully started feeding it the reeds we found just outside the cave. They were good for keeping the smoke down to a minimum. We expanded our hideout since we found it. By the water’s edge was a tiny dock, which took us to the middle of the apparently bottomless pool. At least I hadn't found it yet. Even my bravado only allowed me to go so deep. 

We had a small three-sided log shack, which opened to the firepit. It was just big enough for us to set up one stolen mattress on boards to keep it from touching the ground. Blankets and pillows filled the bed thanks to my insistence on comfort over practicality (A comfortable bed is always my weakness). When the fire went out, we bathed the cave’s bioluminescence. Blue and green foxfire surrounded us, light twinkling like stars as though trying to catch us up in our own private Galaxies. 

“I’ll do it.” I said with a forced smirk, turning back to Lance.

“Do what?” He arched a high brow.

“It. Don’t make me.” 

“You wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t I?”

“Keith. Come on.” He rolled his eyes.

“You asked for it.”

“I didn’t ask for anything!” He pleaded with a squeak, but it was too late, My watch came off, and I was leaning forward in all my Galra glory. A rare sight these days. My tail stood proud behind me, my ears partially drooped, and my eyes glittering our stars back to Lance ten fold. My midnight purple hair now fading into twilight white on the ends.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” I met his eyes and added the final sinking blow. “Please?” I held nothing back.

“When did you get to be so cruel?” Lance sighed and looked at me for a moment before he dropped his head and stared at the fire, resolve shattered into dust “...They want me to drop out of school.”

“What?” My ears perked up, and I jumped on him to force his face to look into mine. “What the hell?”

“I’m not smart enough. I’m not fast enough. I’m not strong enough. I don’t fight well enough.” Lance tried to turn away from me. He failed, and I grabbed his cheeks forcing our deadlock gaze. “I...think I should listen…”

“No!” I pushed him back. He fell to the ground with an oof, and I straddled his waist, my hands on his shoulders. His eyes widened as he couldn’t track my movements, and I noticed pink spreading over his cheeks just as the heat was spreading over mine. “No. You can’t drop out!”

“Why?” He shook his head a little and turned it, so he was staring at the fire (this time I let him). “You have James and Shiro now. You said it yourself...Shiro helps you so much. I’m not helpful anymore. I can’t do anything. You don’t need me there. No one else wants me there…”

“Bullshit!” I said with spit in my voice. I didn’t swear often, but when I did, I’d like to think I meant it. “Fucking bullshit! Who wants you out?! I’ll kick their ass! Who said you weren’t good enough!?”

“Keith… Keith… buddy.” Lance stroked my hair, but he was still looking at the fire. The jackass had the nerve to try and comfort me! Like I was being irrational. As if he didn’t understand the injustice done to him! “They aren’t wrong.” He whispered, and it fueled my inner coil of rage.

“They are wrong! They are! I need you! Pidge, Hunk… We need you! Of course you're not Shiro or Adam or James or whoever the hell. You’re Lance. And you don’t have to be them because you’re Lance! I like you!” There. I said it.

“Yeah yeah...and I’m not good enough. It’s fine.” Why was Lance trying to be the one comforting me now? Didn’t he know it didn’t work when he sounded dejected like that? “It’s fine…We’re friends. You have to say these things”

“No! Lance that’s not...I LIKE you.” I stressed the word. If he was going to be dense I was going to be blunt.

The hand in my hair stopped, and Lance stared up at me again. “You...you what?”

“Everyone one else is a piece of shit if they can’t see it. You help me. You support me. You hide me and tell me when I’m being too harsh or if I’m going overboard. You tell me how to be friends with people. You show me that It’s okay if I’m different, and it doesn’t mean I have to be alone. You… Everyone else can go to hell though because if you’re not there… I don’t care about anything else. I… Lance I like you.” I hit Lance’s chest hard enough to make a thunk but not hard enough for it hurt. 

“Like me? Or LIKE me?” 

I blinked at him. “Those sound the same to me…” 

“Keith.” Lance sat up with me on his lap, studying my eyes and seeing things I allowed myself to show for the first time since I discovered it myself. “You LIKE me.”

“I.. I said that.”

“No you really like me. You want to hold hands with me and go on walks with me and smooch in the hallway with me!” I pushed my hands onto his mouth. 

“Shut up!” My face flared hot, and I bowed it. Unable to hide behind the illusions this time.

The words he spoke next were muffled, but there was a glint in his eye. I just barely saw it through my hair before I felt his tongue against my palm. I quickly yanked my hands away and wiped the one off on his shirt. 

“You should just SAY that.” He grinned. “Do you know how crazy I’ve been going for the past few years because I like you too, but you’re ALWAYS talking about how cool Shiro is, or how nice James has been lately? I was ready to listen to those jerks at school and drop out because I thought you didn’t want me around anymore!” That grin stayed on his lips, but there were tears on his cheeks now.

“You like me too?” My fingers touched the tears. “Y-years?”

“Years.” Lance sniffled. “But I’m not good enough for you.”

“Shut up with that!” I gently patted his cheeks. “You’re being stupid!” A few tears of my own dripped off my chin and darkened circles on Lance’s shirt. “Stop putting yourself down!”

“Only if you stop being okay with calling yourself a freak. I hate it. I hate it so much…”

“I’ll stop. If you stay.” Lance smiled a bit awkwardly at my comment and he nodded his head. “And…” I rolled my lip between my fangs, catching Lance’s eyes on my lips before I let them go. I said “You’d be okay with a relationship like this?”

“I’m not supposed to be?” He reached up with a new liberty and pushed my hair behind my ear.

“Don’t you have to make other humans and stuff?” He chuckled at my shy question.

“I’m curious about the ‘and stuff.’” He grinned. 

“I’m serious, Lance!”

“I know. I mean I knew you liked men for a while.” He supplied the information with a guilty shrug. “You were kinda into Shiro for a bit.”

“I was not! Stop pushing him on me! He’s like… older! And what about you! You had the hots for Jessica, and that blond girl… Ronda… something… “ 

“I did not.”

“You did!”

“No, I really didn’t. But that’s beside the point. I knew you liked boys. And now I’m one of those boys, and I’m really happy.” 

“Now? You’re the only boy.” I whispered softly, letting my fingers stroke over the knuckles of Lance’s hands. “The only person.”

“You’re my only person.” Lance whispered now, too. “You’ve always been my only person. I never liked any of the girls...you were just...so busy all the time. I was alone a lot. I don’t handle that well…so I just tried to socialize with other people. I never liked them. Not even a little. I’ve always only liked you.”

“Wha? Always?” I looked at him. “I…” He was pouting at me now. “Lance...I don’t want to cause trouble for you. I’m not exactly ideal.” My tail flopped over my shoulder, the spade pointing at Lance as if to prove my point.

“Wait. Are you trying to tell me not to like you? I won’t listen!” 

“No! No no!” I shook my head and stared down at him. My face was burning, and the longer I looked at Lance, more the heat built up. “W...Will you go out with me?”

There was a squeak, and suddenly I was enveloped in lanky arms. “Yes! YES!”

“You mean that?” My ears perked. 

“Yes!” He said again, squishing my cheeks between his hands. 

“Weewwwlly?” I got out between squished lips. 

“Yes! Really.” Without a thought he pulled me in and kissed me on the fish lips. It was a quick, sweet peck, but sparks flew across my vision, and I could only stare at him, eyes wide with indigo cheeks. 

He kissed me again, and I kissed back just as many times until I laid my head on his shoulder, letting a rumble I never left out escape from deep in my chest to echo in the cave as I purred in his arms. 

_Dear Mama, today I kissed a boy, and he liked it._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a new style for us. Please bear with it as we figure it out! Let us know what you think! 
> 
> We were trying to capture the thought process of children at this age and in the first person, which isn’t something we’ve done before. 
> 
> <3
> 
> Find Art For this Story Here:  
> [Adventures Await](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9c75ed81a71c8fadea8cb17d967ead08/f5518edae85fe3c0-f4/s540x810/c6cd001bc9cfcd6260e345aa0af5daab5667a5c5.png)  
> Art by:[Foxy Joy](https://foxyjoy-art.tumblr.com/)

The Colony

**Keith - Age 13**

  
“So.” The chair scratched across the wood planked floor of my living room as my father sat with a humph as if the corners of his frown weighed him down, a saved and shambled coffee table between us. He breathed with a deep sigh, strumming his fingers over his muscled forearms. I gulped. I knew he was gathering his thoughts. He was a sensible man prepared for most occurrences. But obviously not walking in on his alien son and his best friend making out. In his son’s bed. With the door closed. While he was supposed to be at work. 

While he thought about his words, I busied myself by trying to look presentable. I tugged my shirt. I flattened my hair down on my head. My tail tapped on my lap rather than echo my anxiety through our four room home. 

He spoke, and I jumped to attention! My tail puffing out.

“How long has this been going on?” He looked directly at me. His gaze boring holes into my forehead. He couldn’t meet my eyes.

“A few months.” I whispered with a glob of impiety in my throat. Lance took my hand, his thumb soothing over my knuckles. He felt guilty. Like he’d done something wrong, and I was the only victim of my father’s bad timing. 

“A few months?” Pops looked scorned. I sunk away from him and did my best to sink into the couch, knowing full well purple stood out against the green floral. He did the same, the wooden chair creaking under his shift while he rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

“So this is an actual thing.” He waved between myself and Lance. “You’re dating and hanging out unsupervised. And making out behind closed doors?”

I wanted to say something along the lines of ‘Well yeah, doing that with the door opened is rude.’ but I held my tongue. Instead of snark, I winced. “When you say it like that… it sounds like we’re doing something wrong.” I looked up, ears folding down a little. “Do you think we are?”

“Yes. No!.. well sort of. But not really?” His forehead pinched together and he focused on Lance. “Do your parents know?”

“N-No.” Lance stammered. “They don’t. Sir.” My father went from being ‘Keith’s Pops!’ to ‘Sir’ almost the minute we started dating. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask for your permission first. I just…”

Pops stared between the two of us, and we stared at each other. He leaned forward, arms folding over his knees. He sighed, and I thought, this was it. This is when he was going to yell, but after a second sigh, he said, “You shouldn’t try to hide important parts of yourselves from the people who are important to you.” He wasn’t really scolding us, but it felt worse than if he was.

“Pops-”

“Hear me out.” He lifted a hand to me to cut me off. “Son, Keith, I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel safe enough to come to me.” 

“It’s not--” Lance started, but he bowed his head, his shoulders hunching up before he clutched my hand a little harder. “Sorry…” His voice quivered. 

“I’m sorry I disappointed you.” I managed, squeezing Lance’s hand too. The shame was contagious, though neither of us felt bad for being together. But now we were caught, and that meant he was going to break us up, right? Humans had a purpose. Lance had a purpose.

“I’m only disappointed that you hid it.” Pops said after a dramatically long sigh. My head snapped up. So did Lance’s, and he blushed darkly when my dad’s big hand came down and ruffled his hair like he was still five and not almost fourteen. I yelped when he did the same to me, the warmth spreading over my cheeks. “You are my son. Nothing changes that. You’ve always been special, and you always will be. And not just because of this.” He gently flicked one of my ears.

Lance’s eyes widened, more than they did whenever his mom was able to secure a little extra meat for dinner. I watched him, and the warmth spread to my neck. “You’re not mad at us?” Lance squeezed my hand again as he asked the question. 

“I understand why you didn’t want to tell me.” Pops shook his head and sat back in his chair again. “The colony has some weird rules regarding relationships like this.” He frowned. He was talking about relationships between men, not between species. That would have been even worse, wouldn’t it? People staring, people knowing what we do in the privacy of our own rooms and making it their business, and people not understanding why we’d be selfish and do something for ourselves rather than ‘the greater good.’ I watched Shiro deal with it on a daily basis, and I admired him. I knew Lance and I could be like him and Adam. 

Pops rubbed the bridge of his nose again, the frown returning to his face. “I’ll do better for the both of you, so you don’t have to hide from me.”

I launched myself at him. “Pops!” He let out a puff of air as if my slight frame actually had an impact on his broad form. I couldn’t hold back! Pops was trying so hard for us. I knew he didn’t care that I loved Lance. I knew he’d do everything in his power to protect us. I knew that from the start. I squeezed him as tightly as I could and I felt his arms wrap around me and squeezed back but gently. He was always a gentle giant. 

“I never doubted you.” I whispered. I heard his breath stutter and his arms held me a bit tighter.

“Lance.” He addressed him over my shoulder. I slipped from his arms and back against my boyfriend’s side as Pops reluctantly let me go. 

“Yes’sir?” Lance squeaked. 

“Do you feel safe at home?” His tone was deepened by the gravity of his question. 

“Yes! Yes.” Lance nodded as he looped his arm around me. “I’m pretty sure she figured it out. I’m not that sure how to tell her though.”

“Well. I’m not surprised she figured it out. You boys aren’t exactly discrete. I did just catch you making out with all the lights on in the house. Kinda stupid, don’t ya think?” He smirked at Lance’s blush. “And every time you leave, this kid runs to the window to ‘make sure he makes it home safe.’” He did a dramatic pantomime with his hands clutching his heart. “Those whole two blocks you have to walk.”

“Pops!” I yelled, feeling the burn on my cheeks. He clasped our shoulders in his hands, laughing at my embarrassment as if it was his right as a parent to do so.

“You’re both family, and as long as I’m around, I will protect you so you never have to feel anything but happy being together.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Lance blushed squeezing my hip a bit closer to his side. 

“Now.” My dad sat back and took a breath and then another. Then drummed his fingers on his knees. “The more difficult part. Do you two.. Know anything about what you’re doing?”

I cocked my head to the side, clueless. 

“You know. Like in relationships.” Lance and I shared a look before Lance spoke up.

“I know I like Keith. I know Keith likes me. What more is there?”

“Other. Things. I mean you’re at that age where you should know about those… other things.” My father appeared to be sweating, and the two of us continued to stare up at him as if he were speaking a language neither of us understood.

“I’ll bet you guys didn’t talk about relationships in school or anything?” He pressed a bit more.

“I mean. No? Not really. Just guy girl stuff. It never really pertained to me. Not really anyway.” I tried to help him, and I heard the gears click in Lance’s head.

“Oooh. Sex!”

“Lance!” I slapped my hand over his mouth. Why did he have to blurt it out like that? Even Pops’ eyes went wide. There was a muffled sound right before Lance’s tongue half slobbered against my palm. “Gross!” I yanked my hand back and whacked him on the shoulder, using it as a chance to wipe my hand off on his shirt. 

Pops sighed, though there sounded like a slight laugh hidden by the puff of air. He shook his head. “I guess I don't have to worry about that for now. But I’ll get you guys some stuff to read.”

“Thanks, Pops.” I kept wiping my hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to thank me for being a dad, all right, Kiddo? Just...don’t do anything until--” He cut himself off and shook his head. “Don’t do anything at all! None! Nothing! Absolutely nothing!”

Pops’ embarrassment was a rare sight. I liked seeing it. There was something so unequivocally normal about watching Pops fumble within the realms of Sex Ed. I smiled beside myself with love for this man. Aside from a few youthful tantrums, I never discussed my issues with fitting in. He never asked why I wore the false skin more and more. He just knew. We were both the odd man out in our own ways. I got up, my tail brushing the back of Lance’s hand as I let him go and I leaned down to embrace my father, his large arms wrapping around me and squeezing a trill from my throat. 

“They have books about sex? Those wouldn’t be in the school library, would they?” Lance was still grinning. 

“Lance!” I stood tall again. 

“I don’t know.” Pops rubbed his chin.

“Pops!?”

“You’d think so, but this colony is weird.” He continued, despite my half voiced arguments.I sighed and gave in, flopping on the couch next to Lance, arms and legs crossing.

“Did they have more books on things in the other places you lived?” I asked, Pops didn’t talk about his pre-colony life. So I took every opportunity to casually bring it up.

“Several. There were countless books covering so many things, it would have made even Pidge’s mind boggle.” My eyes wided, and I leaned forward. I wanted to know more. My tail tapped. Excited, knowing we were about to uncover some secret clue to his origin! 

“But those places are gone.” His eyes went dark, and that was my cue to lay off. “I’ll find something here. I’m sure.”

“You could ask Shiro.” Lance leaned back a half grin still on his lips. He was enjoying this! I sat here struck by a lost opportunity to fill in the gaps of my past, and he was still going on about sex. I never knew he was so damn bold. 

“Hmm. That’s not a bad idea. I could. Though…” A suspicious side long look found it’s way from my father to Lance. “You seem a bit eager.” 

“No!” I piped up before Lance could answer, elbowing him sharply in the side so he couldn’t protest. “No. We’re good we wouldn’t..”

“Keith,” Pops said. “Asking questions doesn’t make you bad. Remember that. I just want to make sure you’re both healthy and safe for whatever you plan to do.” 

“I want to learn!” I glared at Lance. This would be the first time I’ve ever seen him excited to learn about anything. His cheeks were red and his eyes were wide and hopeful. “And Mom said that we’re not allowed to do it until we’re older. At least that’s what she told Marco.”

“Your mom is a smart woman.” Pops nodded. “You’re both young, and there’s no reason to rush anything. I’m glad you both finally noticed what your parents and I have seen happening for years.” Another nod but his lips tightened, and he focused on Lance “And Lance…”

I could practically hear Lance’s heart speed up, and there were a few beads of sweat forming on his hairline. His back stiffened, and he squeaked. “Y-Yes Sir?”

“I’m honored that it’s you.” Pops leaned forward a bit, grinning. He looked pleased that he could make Lance so nervous. “You’ve always looked out for him, and it means a lot to me. Your parents should be proud of you.”

“T-thank you, Sir!” Lance squeaked again as his entire face and his ears turned bright red. I tried to calm his heartbeat by resting my head on his shoulder. It usually worked when I did stuff like this, and it sounded like it was working now. He patted my arm, and as if on cue, the purring started. Every time we sat close, it felt like it was how we were meant to be. And when Lance pressed his face in my hair, I could feel the warmth radiating from him. Definitely perfect.

“His mom used to purr, too.” Pops grinned, still leaning forward a bit, my ear flicking toward him.

Lance turned his head. “Was she as cute as Keith? Is that possible?”

“I’d never let her hear me call her that, but...yes. She was. She looked a lot like Keith.” Pops’ eyes grew distant and started to water, but he blinked back any tears before they could really form.

“She must have been the cutest.” Lance hugged me a little tighter. I was cowed by curiosity. Maybe if I didn’t make it obvious, Pops wouldn’t realize he slipped up.

“She was.” Pops’ continued. “She was strong and smart, the most vicious and beautiful creature in all the universe.” 

“Keith is all those things! Smart and strong.” Lance was acting like they were pals sitting at a pub swapping stories about their spouses. Annoyance twitched in my gut, so slugged him in the arm.

“I’m right here. Dumbass.” I pouted out the curse. 

“Ooow!” He rubbed his arm but laughed. “See! So strong!”

“Yes. I’ve gotten reports from Shiro. He tells me a lot of impressive things. About you too Lance. In fact he-” The clock ticked the hour, our small home filled with the crowing of robotic chickens. 

Pop’s slapped his hands on his legs. “I have to go back. I got a couple double shifts this week. So, Lance?”

“Hm?” Lance perked.

“Keith will be staying at your place.” I clicked my tongue.

“I’m not a kid.” I said. “Maria doesn’t have to babysit me.”

“You’re correct.” Pops stood up, and the wicker creaked in relief. “You are a hormonal teenager. Even worse. I’d say you could be alone, but we both know you wouldn’t be ‘alone’.” A blatant finger pointed to Lance. “So rather than leave you unsupervised, you’re going to Maria’s.”

Lance’s face was red again, but he smiled through it. “It’s okay! I think Mom said she was going to make tamales tonight. You like those, right?” He looked at me, blinking once before a grin split his face as a thought dawned on him. “You do. You always have seconds or thirds.”

I didn’t really know how to tell Lance that I loved everything his mom cooked. She made so many good things, and she always smiled or hummed while she was cooking, so it was like she was pouring all her love into everything. Maria’s cooking tasted the best. But Lance seemed to like it if I liked the same things he liked, so I hopped up to encourage him a bit. “Yes!”

I couldn’t keep it up for long before Pops stared me down. “Keeeeeeith?” He arched a brow when I looked at him. 

“Whaaaaaaat?” I just wanted to go eat if I had to go to Lance’s anyway, not that I’d ever complain about that. But Pops just kept staring at me before he opened his arms. “Ugh, Pops...I’m not a little kid anymore.” He did catch me making out with Lance not that long ago. That was adult stuff. 

“Gonnaa make you do it. Ya hugged me already, one more hug goodbye won’t kill you.” He was unmoved by my plea, so I slunk forward into him and hugged him, sinking into his broad chest. “You’re a good lil’man, Keith. I’ll always be proud of you.” He murmured into the top of my head. 

“Love you too, Pops.” I managed, though my face was smashed into his chest.

Lance cleared his throat. Sometime during the hug he stood, and when I looked over at him, he was rocking back and forth on his heels. Impatient as ever. “Keith’s Pops!” No sir, this time. Maybe he was comfortable again? “I’ll have my mom wrap some extra food for you and leave it in the fridge for when you get home.” He grinned again. “If Keith doesn’t eat it all.”

“Aw! Maria Always takes care of me!” Pops also liked everything Maria made. One day I brought home sweet meat buns, and I thought he was going to die of happiness. He even tried to hoard them away from me. His only child. It was the ultimate betrayal. 

“I’ll even see about getting some desert!” My father barely allowed Lance the time to finish the sentence as he swooped in and picked him up, wrestling him back to the couch. My ears flicked and my tail stood up, excited by the roughhousing display of male bonding. Lance squeaked and laughed, hugging my father back even as he set him up right again on the floor. 

“All right guys, get going before the light dies out. Go straight to Maria’s. No side adventures. I mean it this time.”

“All right.” I nodded, actually feeling like listening this time.

“Be good kiddo,”

“I’ll see you later, Pops.” 

Lance squeezed my hand as I turned on my watch. “Bye Keith’s Pops!” He waved, and we headed out the door. 

We made it to the bottom of the hill before I crouched to the ground. One arm clenched around my stomach and the other being held by Lance’s hand.

“He caught you kissing me. I thought I was going to die!” I whined. I held in my mortification since the moment I heard Pop’s awkward cough in the doorway. But the swell of anxious embarrassment ruptured, leaving me a mess in the middle of the street.

“I’m sorry!”

“At least it wasn’t that other kissing you like to do. He probably would have killed us both,”

“Other kissing? Oh, French Kissing?”

“Yes! That one.” I stopped confused, my head tilting up. “Why is it called French kissing?”

“I dunno. It just is.” Lance shrugged. “Yeah, well he would have killed me, that’s for sure.”

“You’re right about that.” I added a sage nod.

“You would be sad.”

“I would be. I’d clone you…” I added, still crouched. “Like...have five of you, or something.” 

“Five of me? You like me that much?” Lance’s laughing caused me to turn my head up to him. 

“I do!” My face heated up, and my watch did its job and hid the flush tingling my cheeks.

Lance blushed too. “I like you that much, too! I want five Keiths! Fair is fair!”

“I’d be like your personal body guard army!” I stood up again, my stomach not feeling as tight.

“No no. My personal cuddle pile.” Lance started to walk again, tugging me along. 

“I...don’t cuddle that much…” I didn’t think I was much of a cuddle person. Most of the time. 

“No, but five of you would!” 

“You’d really want that? You’d want to cuddle with five of me?” My voice hitched. I wasn’t sure why.

“Yeah” He nodded. “You’re the best cuddler.” He made a slight noise, since I stopped, and it caused him to lurch backwards since he wouldn’t let go of my hand. “What?”

My face was so hot, and it was all his fault. I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, which caused his face to go even redder. “Thank you.” I nuzzled my nose in for good measure. 

“Y-you’re welcome.”

“I-” I started and stopped as my heart skipped, knowing what I was going to say next. “I love you.” I didn’t know the full scope of my words, but kids lost in their first love are always the peak of dramatic. I didn’t doubt I loved him. I’m sure I did. I doubted I understood the sentiment at scale. 

I played it up a little. I walked ahead of him, making sure my watch was still on, and he couldn’t see the pinking of my cheeks. 

“Wait!” He grabbed my hand and tugged me back to him. “You can’t hide that from me! D-don’t hide that from me.” I stared up at him then down at my wrist held tight in his hand.

“Please show me.” He whispered. I imagined a romantic wind tossing his bangs as he asked, like it did in the books I read, but in our manufactured nature, there weren’t really any breezes. 

“It’s in your hand.” I continued staring up at him, and he let go of my arm. I looked right. Then left and turned off the watch. I turned my head up to face him then instantly ducked it again under his gaze. 

He cupped his hand against my cheek, and my lips chased his thumb kissing the pad of it. He took his other hand up and squished my cheeks together giving me a rather unattractive fish face. 

“Say it again.” He begged.

“I wewwely wub you.” I managed between my deformed lips. I saw light and joy explode in his eyes like a thousand fireworks over the bluest seas. He tugged me in and kissed my fishy lips. 

“I love you too.” He whispered, stopping my heart and making my lungs forget how to breathe. He kissed me again and reminded me how to live. My heart started, and air came to me in a glup. “We Should get to the house.” He whispered against my cheek, his thumb slipping across my lower lip again. 

I felt the dreamy idiot smile curl my lips. “Lance McClain loves me…”

“I do. I really, really do.” He kissed me again, but then took a step back and turned my watch back on for me, taking my hand and tugging me along. “Let’s go.”

_Dear Mama, Lance McClain loves me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a kudos and a note! I'm not above asking! Lol!  
> And special love for Kenshin_Soul they have been there since the start of us being in the VLD fandom and they continue to support us!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a new style for us. Please bear with it as we figure it out! Let us know what you think! 
> 
> We were trying to capture the thought process of children at this age and in the first person, which isn’t something we’ve done before. 
> 
> <3
> 
> Find Art For this Story Here:  
> [Adventures Await](https://66.media.tumblr.com/9c75ed81a71c8fadea8cb17d967ead08/f5518edae85fe3c0-f4/s540x810/c6cd001bc9cfcd6260e345aa0af5daab5667a5c5.png)  
> Art by:[Foxy Joy](https://foxyjoy-art.tumblr.com/)

**Keith**

  
One moment. One blip of time in a seamless thread. All it takes to change the world, a single life-defining change to the status quo. The events take an underdog and turn them into a hero, give redemption to a villain, or turn promise into broken dreams. They are big bangs reaching out from a singularity changing the universe to a point where time no longer remembers its first ticking heartbeat. For kids, it becomes the moment often talked about among adults in hushed whispers within the walls of small rooms. Sayings like “He was never the same since,” or “It’s a shame, he had so much promise,” become condiments dousing the sour taste of their failure to protect. Maybe every kid has a moment like that. Maybe every organism in the universe has a single traumatic event that rewrites the blueprint's purpose. 

For me, my moment started with the ground shaking and gusting winds that sucked everything into a rift twisting through the colony. On the other side of that rift was cold open space. Everything happened so fast. People say they could see right into the stars by looking through the earth. Reports of lost cattle and homes would be splattered across our Video Panes for weeks. The death toll was minimal. Save for one.

One man who always had to go back. One man who sacrificed it all for the sake of the many. One man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and if he didn’t push on, it would all crumble around him. One man had to stay behind.

I stood in my living room. Legs numb. Eyes wide and jaw slack as fire raged on the TV. My dark shack bathed in the hellish glow. My cheeks were hot as if burned by the flame, but they were wet from thick tears. The scrolling marquee under my father’s picture read ‘Casualty at The Rail’. That was it. That was all I got. His wide smile and dark brown eyes nearly screwed shut looking out at me from the screen.

“Dad.” I whispered, my voice thick to my own ears. “P.. pops…” 

I couldn’t tear my eyes away even as the door slammed open and Lance bowled over to catch his breath. I couldn’t move to turn my head to look at him. I couldn’t sink into his arms when he wrapped them around me and held me close to his chest. I couldn’t do anything but stare at the screen, though my father’s picture no longer lit up the pixels. 

I don’t know how long Lance held me. I stopped seeing the images on the TV. Everything was a blur of color and light. When my body finally let me move, or speak, or anything, my voice didn’t sound like me. It didn’t feel like me. “P-Pops…” I choked on the word, swallowing the thick air that clung to the sound. “He wasn’t….he...he wasn’t supposed to….go in...he…” 

I couldn’t do it. My chest started to burn as Lance held me closer and whispered, “I know.” The hands rubbing my back didn’t feel like they were touching me. I wasn’t here. I wasn’t real. None of this was real.

“He’s...he’s not…” It was too much. It burned. It hurt. Each rub of the shirt against my skin felt like glass scratching me, but no matter how much I squirmed, Lance wouldn’t let me go. “He’s...it’s a mistake, right?” I kept fighting. He kept holding me. “He’s not…”

Lance’s arms tightened, and I wanted to cry out in pain as his wiry arms grew red hot barbs holding me in place. “No Keith.” His voice soft, like down feathers on a freshly made bed. He tried to soothe. His lips moved and kissed into my hair as he spoke. “It’s not a mistake. I wish I could say it was...but...” I hit him. 

I hit him again, hard in the chest. “You don’t know! You weren’t there! You can’t know!” I wanted to hurt him right then. I wanted him to sit there and lie to me. He refused to do it. Despite my pain. Despite my fear. Despite the crushing weight of what it would mean now that Pops was gone. 

Lance kept holding me. His fingers bunched in my shirt, nearly clawing at my back. “Keith. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t know!” I hit him again in the chest or shoulder, whatever I could reach but there was no power in my attacks. Just defeat. “You.. don’t know anything.” I whimpered as I crumbled into his chest. “You...Lance.. I… Pops…”

Lance trembled in small intervals as he held me. His breathing shook as I sobbed into his shoulder, soaking his shirt. “I know..” He whispered into my hair, sinking to the floor with me as I lost the will to stand. As I fell, he fell. I ended up smashing my face against Lance’s shoulder, but I didn’t care. I just pressed in more and cried harder than I’d never heard a person cry. 

Lance’s movements no longer felt painful or restrictive. His constant rubbing of my back didn’t cause my shirt to scratch or my body to burn. I felt cold instead. Perhaps that was the chill of the floor seeping into my skin. I was only in shorts after all. Lance was so warm, though. I pressed in closer for...I don’t know how long, and he held me without a hint of growing weary of it.

“What’s...going to happen?” I managed, my cheek still pressed into his shoulder as my lips quivered through each shaky breath. 

Lance let out a soft sigh. His arms tightened around me for a moment. “Mom says you can...you should stay with us for a bit while Shiro tries to figure out what he can do to help you.”

“I-I can’t. What if.. What if he comes home. What if he’s looking for me-”

“Keith.” Lance shifted so he could see my face. Long tender fingers reached to smooth the fringes of my hair and push it off my face. He knew something I refused to believe. “How about, I stay here with you then? If that’s easier for you. Either way I’m not leaving you alone.” He kissed my temple. “Okay?”

I nodded, and as if the movement shook it forth, a broken sob wracked my body. It hurt. My lungs hurt. My eyes hurt. My throat, my chest, my heart… everything hurt. I don’t know how long I laid like that, but I drifted in and out. Not really sleeping but not really awake.

Lance never let me go. I know he pulled his legs out from under himself and leaned us both back against the coffee table, but he never let me go. After a while, my ears twitched to the door. The scent of cold and vanilla swept in above the floor boards. 

A knock, soft and polite. 

“Hey.” Came a voice. I recognized it even in my state. Words between Lance and the voice continued and felt large hands in my hair. Tender. Familiar. So warm. Just like Pops’. I nuzzled my face into it. Calloused fingers froze. 

“Pops?” My eyes fluttered open, stuck and gummy from dried tears. 

Shiro looked down at me, brows furrowed, lips parted as if my question caught the words right out of his mouth and silenced them. Lance’s hands trembled against my back, but neither of them said anything. I looked at Shiro, then quickly around the room. It was Pops’ hand on my head just then. I was so sure of it.

“Hey Keith…” I never heard Shiro speak so softly before. But here he was, and I almost had to strain to hear the rest of it. “I’m so sorry…” But then his voice firmed up. Back to the Shiro I knew. The Shiro who was so sure of himself. The Shiro who stood tall and proud even when he should break down and cry. “Is there anything I can do for you?” The Shiro who would do anything for anyone. 

But he couldn’t bring Pops back. He couldn’t reverse time and change the explosion. He couldn’t convince Pops not to go into work when he didn’t have to. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t… I shook my head and pressed into Lance again. “No…”

Lance...just kept his arms around me. They still hadn’t moved. They had to be sore by now, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. Instead, it almost felt like he was trying to be a piece of me, like it would ease some of this pain a little. “Shiro, can you tell my mom that I’m going to stay here?” Lance looked at him only briefly before his gaze came back to me. “She’ll pack some stuff for us. Please.”

“You don't have to stay.” The conviction in my voice was lacking.

“I’m staying,” Lance said, his hold firm. “Please let me?”

I lifted my head, my watch fizzled and beeped its warning then died completely, giving away every last secret I had at that moment. Red eyes, tear-stained cheeks that were both ruddy and a paler shade of lilac. I could feel the bags under my eyes, and now Lance could see them as surely as the fallen ears and the motionless tail on the floor. 

He wiped the tears, his finger brushing over my lower lip. “I’ll stay with you. As long as you need me to. I’ll stay with you.” My nose wrinkled and I sniffed. “Even if you don’t want me.”

“I alway-” The phone buzzed on the wall, and I blinked at it like I couldn’t figure out what it was. 

Shiro walked over and picked it up. “Yes? He’s here. N-no. It’s not a good time. Yeah. He saw. Already? Eric. You can’t be… I’ll go. It doesn’t have to be him. Quiznacking hell Eric. Yeah. I get it. Fine. Just… don’t call here again.” Shiro hung up the phone and sighed his hands going into his pockets.

“What?” Lance asked, fingers twisting gently in the white ends of my hair.

“They… want you to umm… come down to the base. They.. want you to identify him.” 

“Oh. They found a body then?” I asked, surprised by the numbness in my voice when I felt everything but. 

“He shouldn’t go yet. He’s in shock, Shiro.” Lance argued. 

“I know. But the top brass are demanding it.”

“Top brass.” Lance scoffed then sighed, nosing my hair as he addressed me again. “Do you want me or Shiro to go with you?” 

“No. I…” I don’t know what I was thinking. I stood up, pulling myself away from Lance, and I tried to stand tall. That’s what everyone expected. That’s what everyone wanted. Strong. Brave. Dutiful.I would be an honor to my father if I was all of those things.

“One of us is going with you.” Lance followed me to his feet. “I wasn’t asking at all. I was asking which one of us.” 

How was I supposed to make that decision? “I…”

“I’ll go.” Shiro’s voice was firm. Ever the commander in times of dire need. “Lance, you arrange things here and at your house. You know where his stuff is, right?”

I didn’t want to see Lance’s expression. He never liked it when Shiro did this, especially when it came to me. He usually got angry, or muttered something rude under his breath, but there was no sound of displeasure this time. He just grimaced and nodded. Resignation laced his voice. “All right…” Another sigh escaped his already tightening frown, but he nodded again. “Text me when you’re on the way back here.”

“All right.” Shiro straightened up. “Are you going to be okay?” I’m not sure which one of us he was asking. He wasn’t really looking at either of us. 

“Don’t worry about me or anything about here. I can get stuff handled.” Lance let go of me, but then he pushed my hair off my face and lowered his voice. “Do you want my sweatshirt, or are you going to reactivate your watch?”

“Huh?” I turned my watch. It had died just a few moments ago. “I need the other one. I umm. Pops he kept one locked up. In his room. I.. um.” A large hand curled over my shoulder. 

“Where’s the key.” Shiro asked. He nor Lance would make me go into Pop’s room. Not yet. 

“It’s in um.. I…” 

Lance hugged my head to his shoulder. “He keeps it behind the shoe rack, on a notch before the coats.” I closed my eyes and settled my weight into Lance, focusing on his fingers in my hair, the moving of his chest. 

He carefully wrapped his hooded sweatshirt around me as though he were dressing one of his nieces or nephews. And without looking up, he took the watch from Shiro and slipped over my wrist then turned it on. 

“I don’t want to go.” I whispered, curling back into Lance the second I could. 

“I know, Kitten. It’s not fair that you have to.” He slipped his hand under the hood and stroked my cheek, tilting my head up to him. “Even when you’re not asleep, I’ll hold you through this nightmare.” His thumb brushed over my trembling lip. His little reassurance and seal on his promise.

“Go on. Shiro will be with you.” Lance didn’t rush me, and he held me until I took a deep breath and slipped from his arms. He even tried to smile at me when Shiro rested his hand on my shoulder to anchor me as if either one thought I’d up and float away if they lost track of me. He couldn’t do it, the smile, but Lance tried, and the warmth of the effort gave me the boost I needed to go with Shiro.

I couldn’t tell you word for word what happened after that. I never tried to think of it again and I still don’t want to now. There wouldn’t be much to tell. A windowless room. A cold platform and a wrapped body still smelling of burnt flesh. I didn’t want to go in. Wilhelm said I had to. Shiro fought. Maybe swore. I don’t know. Whatever the result was, I ended in front of the door. I numbly walked into the room, stared at the coroner. She flipped the wrap open and I...nodded. I simply nodded. She tightened her lip and nodded back. When I turned I saw Shiro and Whilem talking again. Rage, hot and unlike anything I’d felt before, boiled in my gut. I glared at Eric Whilem. The man who made my last memory of my father an image of ash. Of cracked pink skin with the smell of melted nails and cooked meat. 

Shiro came at me in a rush and blocked me from stepping forward. My face against his back. I could see yellow light reflecting from his gray shirt. Whilem didn’t say anything. Had I said something? I don’t remember. I just knew Shiro. And Shiro was going to take me home. 

His steady hand helped me out of the room and out of the building. I must have staggered or sagged, because suddenly I felt weightless. My head lulled against Shiro’s shoulders and I closed my eyes. I tried to picture my father...Pops. I tried to focus on his laugh, his smile, his warm arms. Anything. Anything I could do to remember.

There was some noise, and I felt myself being moved. From larger, strong arms, to smaller, but equally strong ones. Lance. It was Lance. I pressed my face into his neck and breathed in his scent. He was sweating, and his chest heaved just slightly, but he held me close. “My mom made food for you, Shiro. Why don’t you go there and get some? I’ll be here with Keith.”

“You...okay?” 

“I’m as okay as I can be. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be strong for him.” Lance shifted his weight to hold me better, and when I turned my head a little to press my nose into his jaw, I caught the taste of tears. He had been crying, too, hadn’t he? My fingers curled into his shirt. Of course Lance would cry. Lance always let his emotions out easily. I gripped his shirt so tightly, my fingers hurt. He moved, almost like he was rocking me to calm me down. Almost like he understood everything I was thinking. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn’t. But he held me, and that was enough.

“He’s lucky to have you.” Shiro was close. He brushed a hand over my hair before he stepped back again. 

“I’m luckier to have him. It’s okay Shiro. Please go take care of yourself…”

“I’ll be back in the morning to check in on both of you. Okay?” I felt Lance nod his head. 

I continued to nose into his neck. Still trying to chase away the scent of that room. I wanted it expunged from my body. I inhaled deeply and sighed heavily, only vaguely aware and not really caring that we had somehow made it to my bed. 

Lance hummed softly by my ear as he turned off the watch. I let him. He needed to see me. Lance and Pops were close. He’d lost someone too, but his mourning would wait for the sake of mine. He continued to hum as I nuzzled in, my eyes focused through the dark and on the wall. 

“It’s okay to sleep.” He whispered in tune with his soft hum. 

“I don’t want you to leave. You won’t leave, right?” I asked, knowing the answer.

“I won’t. I’m right here. Like always, Kitten.”

“You… you’re all I have.” The realization dawned on me in sync with the words leaving my lips.

“No. There’s Shiro and our friends. But I still won’t leave.” He tightened his arms more around me, still worried I’d float away if he didn’t hold me tight enough. “And I’ll continue to be here for as long as you need me.”

“I can’t do this alone. I can’t be strong. Or brave or.. Anything. I’m…” I sat up and Lance let me. He left the door open to my room, and I saw into the family room. Pop’s coat still hung from the back of his chair. His dinner plates rested in the sink. “I…” I stood up. I don’t know why but I walked to the bathroom despite Lance’s micro-protests. His toothbrush was on the edge of the sink. Still wet. I put it away. Like I had a thousand nights before. 

“If it’s too hard to stay here, we can go to my house for now.” I could have looked at Lance’s reflection in the mirror, but I didn’t want to risk seeing my own face. I fussed around the room, my ears twitching whenever Lance’s breath hitched as he watched me. I felt him staring, but I couldn’t look. I crouched and picked up a carelessly discarded pair of shoes. “He...always took them off here. And...then he’d trip.”

“Keith…” Concern laced Lance’s voice, but he didn’t move towards me. He was going to let me get this out of my system. Whatever ‘this’ was.

“I...I know it doesn’t matter. I...know. I just. He...he’d always trip. He’d fall, right here.” I clutched the shoes to my chest before I put them off to the side. “And he’d laugh...his warm laugh. I’m...I’m never going to hear it again. I’m…”

Lance’s arms were around me before I could finish my sentence. I sank into his chest and let my body tremble against his. “I’m sure we have some videos somewhere for you. We’ll find them, okay? I know my mom insisted on filming your first real birthday party...and…”

I dug my fingers into his shirt. “It..will it hurt forever?”

“It’s okay if it does, Keith.” Lance ran his fingers through my hair. “It will always hurt, but after a while it will hurt less, or differently, and that’s okay too.” He kept soothing me even as I slumped into his arms. “I’m here for you, okay?”

Lance let me stay like that for a while, but eventually he half pulled, half carried me back to the bed, getting settled under the covers with me, arms never letting me go.

Day and night drifted by telltale shadows on the wall. Growing, shrinking, dancing across the metal and wood floor, then dying in the night to faded silhouettes backlit by the colony’s fake moon. Fake. Everything about this place was fake. The grass. The trees. The air we breathed. Morning and evening. None of it mattered. I just wanted to be left here in my bed. Lance would come and go, he’d stroke my hair and kiss my forehead, and I’d pretend to sleep. I was just as fake as anything else with my watch on. My black hair and white skin. Fake. 

Some time later a knock came to the door. Lance stood up and I could hear him talk. 

“Yes?” He asked through the door. Something muffled replied and Lance opened the heavy latch with a clink. 

“Yes. Hello.” Trilthan. I knew the voice. I knew those smooth pitchy tones; the snobbish elongated vowels as if the common language was a poison to his tongue. The human dog of the Altean army. A spineless sap of a man. He praised the Alteans and their work. He nosed his way into their ranks and became the Colony watchdog. Everyone knew his name Tom. But he changed his name to follow in line with the new order. His kind made me sick. At least Non-cogs had an excuse. Their brains were mashed potatoes. 

“My Condolences.” Fake.

“Thanks. And you are?” Lance played the part of stupid rather well when it suited him. 

“I-I am Overseer Trilthan.” He paused for recognition and Lance remained quiet. “I’ve been sent to provide condolences on behalf of the Altean Empire. The Engineer… Tex? Was it? Yes. Tex Kagone. He had a son. Keith.” I heard him struggle with the names as one does with food stuck in their teeth. “Are you Keith?”

Lance said nothing. 

“I am to discuss arrangements.” 

“You’re in the wrong place for that.” Lance’s voice took on a coldness I never heard before. “Rafael McClain and Takashi Shirogane are the ones handling the arrangements. You need to go see them.” 

“Has that been stated by the estate?” 

There was one of Lance’s signature snorts, and that cold voice was laced with anger now. “Rafael has been the executor for years. If you had the actual documents, you’d know that, now wouldn’t you? Go.”

Nothing good ever came from Lance’s anger, so I dragged myself out of the bed and started towards the doorway. “What is it…?” Was that my voice? Did it always sound so hoarse and tired?

Lance unceremoniously shut the door in the Overseer’s face and turned towards me. “Nothing. Go back to bed.”

“Lance…?” I hesitated, but he kept looking at me with a stern expression. I knew it wasn’t really directed at me. He was in his protective mode. He...got like that. So I sighed and shuffled back to bed.

I heard him sigh. I heard the click of the door lock, then the furious tones of the keypad as he texted someone...probably about the guy he all but shoved from the house. I craned my head to watch him through the doorway, but I didn’t have to wait long. He shoved a chair under the door handle and walked back into the room, practically melting into me on the bed.

“It’s okay to go back to sleep.” He whispered and held me closer. I turned to lay my head on his chest, eyes closed as I sank in the feeling of him. His breathing. His heart beat. His overwhelming warmth. Lance was real. This whole damn world was fake, but Lance. Lance was real. He stroked my hair, eliciting a small purr from the back of my throat. My first sound of any real contentment in days. As little as it was. 

“I love you.” I whisper into his shirt. Fingers stretched behind my ear, and I turned my head for it. 

“I love you too, Kitten. I’ll do whatever I can to protect you.” 

“Can we leave?” I’d spent too long in the house. I needed to step away. Clear my head. I needed to be surrounded by Lance. I needed to feel something other than the all encompassing grief. 

“Where do you want to go?” He asked with a forehead kiss.

“Your place. Your room. I want to sleep in your bed.” I sounded selfish, but Lance didn’t hesitate.

“All right. Let’s pack up some stuff.” 

“No.” I cut him off. “I don’t want anything from here.” His weight shifted under me.

“Your clothes?” He forced me to look at his brow creased expression. “Your hippo?” My eyes found the old stuffed toy sitting on my nightstand. The sight of the faded and knotted up fur blurred with the welling of tears. 

“Shh. Shh.” Lance hugged me again. “I’ll bring it, but keep it in my bag until you need it. Okay?”

“N.. no.” I choked out, pulling myself up on to my arms and then grabbing the Hippo. “I want it.” 

“All right.” He kissed the top of my head and slowly let go of me, sliding off the bed. “Then let me pack your clothes okay?”

I moved to help, but he just shook his head and carefully folded and placed my clothing into his bag. I held the hippo close and watched him, lips quivering as my throat tightened up, but I took a shaky breath and forced myself to calm as much as I could.

When Lance was done, he slung the bag over his shoulder and held his hand out to me. “Ready?”

It took me about half a tick to clutch his hand and curl into his side. He ran a finger along my cheek before he checked my watch for me. He really would do anything to keep me safe, wouldn’t he? He was the one staying strong for me. He was the one who checked on all of the little things I didn’t even think to check. Everything was turned off. The door was locked and secure. All of it without a complaint or even without letting go of my hand. 

He led me down the hill to his house. Maria was standing at the door, but she just stepped aside to let us in, then locked the door behind us as we walked to Lance’s room. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw or heard her lock the front door like that. But it didn’t matter now. All that mattered right now was Lance. My real Lance. 

“Here.” He put the bag down when we got into his room, but he didn’t let go of my hand. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. I needed this. I needed to be here. Swallowed up by everything good. And Lance was so good. 

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I’m sorry I can’t be stronger right now.” I rubbed my thumb over his fingers.

“You don’t have to be strong, Keith. Not right now. It’s not something you ever need to apologize for.” He smiled at me as I unsnapped my watch and set it with a heavy clunk on his nightstand. “What can I do for you? Do you need anything?” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed each purple digit.

“I…” I lifted my head. “Will you smile for me?” 

I know he wasn’t expecting my answer and he made it obvious with a few short blinks. “Um. Yeah? Will it cheer you up?”

“Yeah. I think it would help. I like your smile. But a real smile.” I couldn’t handle a fake anything from Lance right now. 

He stepped into me, his hand sliding up my arm to stroke my cheek. A smile tilted his lips. “I can always smile when I see you.” He didn’t go overboard. He didn’t force it. Instead he gave me a shy little grin. Boyish and charming just like him. 

I lifted my hand and let my fingers dance over his soft lips. As he kissed them, sparks engited down my arms and jump started my heart. It felt good. It felt good to feel something. His lips continued over my fingers and down to my palm. They were so tender. So sweet. I grabbed a fist full of his collar and pulled him down on top of me. Both of our eyes were wide with shock, but I went with it and kissed him. 

He went with it too, and he kissed me back. Good. It felt so good. It was warm and pleasant, and for a moment, it erased everything else. Everything but Lance. I kept kissing him. I pulled him down so his weight crushed my own. My eyes closed, and I just allowed myself to feel. Allowed my hands to move, fingers in his hair, then down his neck, over his shoulders, down his arms. I let myself drown in the way his body reacted to mine. The way his stomach sucked in a little when my hand slid over it. The slight hiss that escaped his lips when my fingers touched his skin. He was so warm. He was growing warmer. I let my hand slide under the waistband of his pants. 

But then two strong hands came around my wrists, and the kissing stopped. “Keith…”

I opened my eyes. Lance’s face was flushed. His lips were red and looked so tempting with the way he bit his lower lip a little. “What is it?” I whispered, leaning up to catch his mouth again.

He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t lean in either. His fingers stroked my wrists even as he held them firm. “I...really want to be with you,” He sighed, then sat up a little. “But you’re grieving.” He let go of my wrists, and panic seized me as I thought he was about to pull away from me, but he took my hands and threaded his fingers with mine. “I want to do this when we’re both clear headed, so you won’t resent me for taking advantage of you.” He was still so warm.

“I wouldn’t!” I protested, eyes wide. “I…wouldn’t think that.” But he was right. Of course he was right. We’ve never gotten farther than kissing, and now probably wasn’t the best time. “I’m sorry…”

“Woah woah. No. Don’t apologize.” He leaned in and kissed me, but he didn’t pull away, so when he whispered, our lips still touched. “I love you.” His breath was so warm and sweet. “I want you. I just...can’t take advantage of you. I...want it to be when we’re both sure we want it...when nothing else prompts it but us…”

I nosed down into his neck, right behind his ear. My eyes screwed shut trying to chase away the rejection and all the negative emotions along with it. Lance was a good person. Always looking out for me. He loved me, and he was right. I was caught up in everything I was about to use him to run away. I was no better than the rest of this stupid colony. I was just as fake as everything else here. I swallowed back and held him closer. 

“Will you… stay with me?” I curled under his weight trying to hide myself into the press of his body. “Can we still stay just like this?”

“Of course.” Lance laid over me, arms wrapping under my body as he blanketed me with his own. “I’ll always stay with you.”

_‘Dear Mama, I’m sorry. I couldn’t protect Pops. I hope you get to see him. And if you do. Tell him I’m sorry.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! 
> 
> I had surgery last week!
> 
> Please enjoy the last chapter in the Child Arc!
> 
> Please look forward for the next in the series!


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